Love In Hate

21 Him

Sun's POV

I was dragging my foot inside this huge mall. I was walking around for quite a while now. Zac suddenly wanted to eat sushi so he dragged both Nash and me to come with him. But the problem was, he wouldn't head straight to the sushi place but going around the mall, sight-seeing. Well, I didn't mind that. We weren't hanging out together for a long time already. But, 2 hours wasn't enough? My legs were going to give up on me when Zac finally told us to get a meal. I let out a long sigh when I heard that.

We entered the restaurant through its huge door. Well-designated. It looked modern and great once you went inside the restaurant. We took a sit at 4-seat table. Zac and Nash sat against the wall while I took a sit in front of them. We made our order in no time. I was really hungry actually.

Soon, the meals arrived. We ate while chattering about a lot stuffs. Mostly regarding our university and our courses. But then, Zac jumped into a weird conversation. And the victim was me.

"I wonder about something. Are you single now?" Zac asked me in the middle of the meal.

He made me giving him a strange look. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Well. Because you suddenly come out. So, I thought that maybe you have someone." He raised his brows at me.

"Not really." I answered him after a while.

"Then, have you ever loved someone?" It's Nash's turn to ask me. What's wrong with these guys today? Suddenly getting interested in my love life?

"Once," I wouldn't mind saying the truth. He was gone long ago anyway.

"Really? Never knew that. Is he someone that we know?" Nash looked at me with glittering eyes.

I shrugged. "Maybe not. He's just someone that happened to be in my life. For awhile,"

Both he and Zac made disappointed faces. "Where is he now?" Zac asked.

"How would I know? Maybe he's already happy with his life,"

"The way you said it, did something happen between you guys?" Nash spoke out. He stopped eating and had his sight on me now.

I sighed. Something did happen. But I already decide to forget about it. It's not like he would pop up in my life after all this while. "Pretty much. But, it was a long time ago. I have moved on with..."

"Yo, Nash!" someone greeted Nash with a loud voice behind me. He made me forget what I was going to say. I was startled by his sudden appearance.

Nash looked up to them with widened eyes. Later, he grinned from ear to ear. "Yo, bastards! What are you guys doing here?" Nash seemed excited to see them.

I was about to turn around when a voice I recognized replied to Nash. "Swimming, perhaps?"

Nash laughed hard. "You still have time to kidding with me, huh?"

I could feel my body was getting freeze in my seat. I hoped I was wrong. Please...

"Come join us?" Nash invited them. I didn't know what kind of face I was making upon hearing that but I didn't like the idea at all.

"Of course."

There goes my hope. The guys combined our table with the empty table beside us and took their seats. There were 4 of them including him.

Yeah, him. God wouldn't answer my prayer. He was there.

I glanced from the corner of my eyes and seeing him taking a seat next to the person beside me. I was glad he sat there. At least, I wouldn't make an eye contact with him. But I didn't feel comfortable with the situation.

Out of all places, why here? There were many malls here, many restaurants, why they came into this one? And he was in this city all this while?

I wanted to get away from there but it wasn't polite to do that. So, I made excuse to go to the toilet. I would be killing my time there.

I quickly made my way to the gents. I stood in front of the mirror, seeing the reflection of me. I could feel my eyes were getting hot. I thought he would be gone by now. But he was still there, stuck in my mind.

And I couldn't help the fact that I was actually missing him. I missed that guy so much!

Haha. So funny. Just when I thought I already moved on, I was not. It's so hilarious that I wanted to laugh at myself for being so weak.

"Hey."

I snapped my head to my left when the voice greeted me. He was leaning by his shoulder on the wall. He flashed me a smile although I could see how hesitated he was.

I looked away from him and slowly opened the tap to wash my hand.

He acts normal. If he can do that, why not you?

I decided to reply him. "Hey," I closed the tap and went to get the tissue.

"How're you?" he asked.

I turned to look at him. "Just as you see," I raised my shoulders.

"I never knew you are studying at the same university as Nash,"

"Hmm." I replied him. How would you know if you never asked? I wasn't stupid to guess that he never asked Nash about me. Even though he knew Nash was my friend.

Why you put the blame on him alone? You never asked Nash about him either. You guys are just the same. My mind was battling with me.

"How's your family? Are they okay?" I looked away from him when he asked me that. I didn't know why. When he was this concerned, it felt like those 3 years never passed. He's just the same as yesterday.

"They are okay,"

"Good then. What about you? How's your life doing?"

I stared at him until he averted his gaze downward. I smirked at his reaction. "How's my life? What is the real meaning behind that question?" I couldn't help but to think that he was making fun of me. Maybe he thought my life was a hell because I was gay.

He looked surprised when I snickered at him like that. "I didn't mean it that way. I just want to know how are you doing. That's all." His voice sounded guilty.

"Well, you should ask me that 3 years ago." I throw away the tissue in my hands. I walked to the door, ignoring him but he grabbed my arm, stopping me from going. I turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry," he released my arm and raised his hands in air. "I... want to talk to you," he said later.

"There's nothing to talk,"

"But..."

"If you are going to talk about all those years, then forget it. I don't want to know. I don't care," I said coldly and stepped ahead.

"You still mad at me because of that matter? Because I found out about your secret?" he asked me in sarcastic tone.

"You should be asking yourself that, not me," I admitted that I was mad when he found out about it. But, I was angry at myself more. For becoming that way and destroyed our friendship. But I didn't ask to be gay. If I could change myself, I would do it gladly. After trying, I still couldn't. Now that I had made a decision to be this way, why would he show up?

I went out from the toilet but I couldn't make a step further when Nash was clearly standing in front of me. I widened my eyes in surprised. Nash hadn't said anything. He just looked at me and Inn. And I knew, he heard it all.

I composed myself and gave him a smile before I walked passed through him.