Please Understand

Chapter 10: Mitosis Made You Hurl

Blood-

Crying in the bathroom-

In his tree house-

When did Amelia sleep in my tree house? She always insisted on going up there instead of one of our houses, but I don't remember her ever mentioning wanting to sleep up there. Isn't that something I would've noticed? She may have been good at sneaking passed her dad, but I always noticed when she would crawl out her window, and down the ladder she placed there after her sixteenth birthday. She asked me to help her, and that was one of my presents to her that year.

"Freedom is all I want for my birthday this year," she insisted with a coy smile as she stared out the window. I was driving her home after football practice because stayed later to work on the yearbook. She was always taking pictures, and editing them for hours, so the yearbook would be perfect for her ungrateful classmates.

I snorted with a roll of my eyes. Sometimes she was so silly."So do you want me to dig you a tunnel?" I shot back in my drained voice. Really, I didn't care about our conversation. I was always such a dick to her?

She was quiet, but she was always thinking and I half expected her to never answer. Sometimes she would never give me a straight answer, but she would tell me something stupid, like silence is golden. "You would be my hero," she finally whispered, but I never answered.

Instead I bought her a ladder-

"So mitosis made you hurl?" Luke laughed as he looked over at my textbook with a smug smirk. Nosy bastard.

I looked away, and rested my head in shaking hands as I pressed my palms against my eyelids. "Yeah, cells splitting really freaks me out," I lied through gritted teeth. Why can't he just leave me alone? Can't I have at least one minute to myself, so I can focus on what I read?

He snorted as he scooted his desk close to mine, drawing even more unwanted attention. "Really? What part is disturbing?" he pressed with hidden motives laced in his friendly tone.

Inside, my stomach was doing back flips as my brain throbbed, reminding me of the Horror Novel by Amelia Jackson. "Dude, the description and picture were weird, okay?" I hissed, hoping to drive him away by my irritated tone. "Cells just split. Not cool." Why am I so stupid?

Why didn't she tell me?

How didn't I notice?

What warning signs were there?

Could I have helped?

Why is he still teaching?

Why has he been around other children all these years?

Luke was quiet for a minute as he rhythmically tapped a pencil on his desk. I wanted to take it and chuck it across the room. "So nothing happened with Carlie? Why would she lie?" he asked as he changed the subject.

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, hoping to rip the skin of my eyelids. Maybe then I can be sent away, so I don't have to deal with him anymore. "I don't know, but I wasn't with her for too long. At one point, I had to kick Jose and Sam out of my room. Definitely didn't want to clean up their mess," I grumbled as I rubbed my eyes. Finally, I opened them, so I could look at Luke. "Why would I lie about not being with her?"

He shrugged his shoulders, but something was weighing on him. "She is hot, but maybe you don't want people to think you were with her because you didn't want Amelia to find out," he rambled, pretending like he hadn't given thought to it, but I know he has. Calculating has never been his strong suit, so why now?

I rolled my sore, burning eyes; I hate crying. "If anything, I would want people to think I was with her. That would give me an alibi, right?" I asked with a small smirk. Would pretending like I have something to hide throw him off my track? I don't care if he thinks I'm guilty as long as he doesn't find out about the diary.

He let out a loud laugh, surprising me and everyone around us. Again, most of my classmates were staring at me and I decided this may as well become the new normal. Then, he leaned in with a smirk, rested his chin on his hand, and mockingly batted his eyelashes. "You probably shouldn't say stuff like that," he lowly murmured, "wouldn't want people to get the wrong ideas."

Seriously, I'm too exhausted for these games, especially after everything I read. "What is going on with you? You're being weird," I bluntly stated, and I gave him an exasperated sigh.

He shrugged and leaned away from me. "You've been acting differently. The Mason I know was all over Carlie and wanted to take her to Homecoming. Now you're throwing up in the middle of Biology and all you do is talk about Amelia. Up until she disappeared, you didn't even care about her," he explained in a calm tone, like he was really trying to understand.

What is his motive? No one simply wants to help. I wanted to lunge at him and blame him for all of my problems, but once again I'm the one to blame for this. It's my fault that I didn't help Amelia when she needed me. I'm no better than Danny. It's so much easier to blame everyone else. "I did care about her and I still do. We grew apart, okay? And I'm sorry, but Carlie isn't my type. I don't know why you're so concerned about her, but I'm not. You can have her if that's what this is about," I shot back, trying to force myself not to sound too intense. Anger was bubbling up inside me, and unfortunately I was channeling it all towards Luke.

Back in reality, I should be screaming at Mr. Morris for what he did. I should be fighting with him instead of my friend. He's someone I can blame for her disappearance, or at least for hurting Amelia.

He raised his eyebrows, but as soon as he released them, a smile broke out on his face. "Dude, it's fine. Don't know what you're so worked up about," he grumbled as the bell shrieked above us. "Plus, I already had sex with Amelia. Why would I want double of your sloppy seconds?" He smirked at me and left the room with his arm around Miguel, immediately jumping back into the popular guy routine.

A routine I was falling out of as my world crashed down around me.