Please Understand

Chapter 38: The War

I stood on the front porch with the light autumn breeze brushing passed. The yellowed leaves were falling off the tree in our front yard and fluttering to the ground. Dad is going to ask me to rake those up soon even though they aren't done falling, and I'll do it to appease him. I watched to distract myself from the heaviness that surrounded our two houses. Mom decided she needed space from Dad and I, so she's inside packing her bags. She was furious when I finally came home because she got a call from Detective Nix and she found out that I was actually with Amelia. My whole story was a lie, but she should've expected that. Now she says she's staying with her sister for a few days, but I know where that's going. A few days will turn into weeks, then months, then a year, and pretty soon I'll hear that my parents are getting divorce. There are worse things that could happen.

Three days away from Amelia's birthday. Her dad stood on his front porch, refusing to look over at me. He was murderous when he found out I was involved, so I tried to stay out of his sight until today. If he got the chance, then I know he would put a bullet through my head, and would feel no remorse. Danny's arms were crossed over his chest and his jaw was clenched as he watched the squad car slowly pull up to the curb.

I stood perfectly still, letting the wind blow through my shaggy hair. Dad was yelling inside the house, but I tried not to let that divert my attention. I ruined everything, and I was going to face it with dignity. Even though standing here isn't going to fix anything, I want her to see that I am here, and I'm not hiding from my mistakes anymore. I'll probably make this worse because that's what I'm best at.

She didn't get out right away, and I wondered if she would put up a fight. Detective Nix opened the trunk, took out her suitcase, and then came around to open her door. Her movements were slow as she emerged from the white car, her hair was piled up in a massive bun, and she was back in black baggy clothes. The pale lips I've been dreaming about for almost a week were set in a pout as she snatched her bag from the detective. Her eyes were wild, like a captured, cornered animal, and finally she looked up at me.

My heart stopped when she looked at me with her soul-crushing blue eyes. She sucked the life out of me with one steely glance, and then she trudged up the steps, completely bypassing Danny's open arms. Did he actually believe she would be excited to see him? The door slammed shut, letting the sound of her anger be carried to all of us by the wind.

Detective Nix stood by his car, willing me to look at him, but I was still too angry. Normally, they wouldn't bring home a runaway who was about to turn eighteen; I looked it up. In a normal situation, they would have respected Amelia because she was close enough to being an adult. There's no point in bringing her home because as soon as she turns eighteen, then she can leave again. Too bad she caused an entire investigation, and left too many unanswered questions, so she has a court order to be here for the trial. Personally, I think Nix just wanted to feel satisfied that he solved the case. He brought her home for his own selfish pride. He doesn't care about the other cases he solved.

She should be in Seattle where she is happy. There was no reason she should have been brought back to a city she hated and a dad who ignored her. Now she's next door to the boy who broke her heart twice, who lied to her, and she probably thinks used her. When I left her the letter, I thought she would be far away from me, and I never thought I would have to face her. There's no way I will be able to discuss it right now. Someday I thought I could explain things to her, and tell her how it seemed like the best idea at the time. Letting her go was the hardest thing I had to do, but I thought it would ultimately make her happy  I should've followed my heart instead of my indecisive brain.

Danny waved to the detective and followed his only child into the house. How could he do this to her? How could he force her to come home once he found out that she was running away from him? She wanted to leave. His own daughter didn't want to be near him, so he's forcing her. He should be able to feel the icy barricade she's protected by; he shouldn't try to forcefully melt it.

Detective Nix walked along the edge of my yard with his hands in his pockets, but he wouldn't step on the grass. He looked straight at me, but I looked away, so I could stare at her house. "Mason, you know we couldn't leave her there. We need to understand what happened. There's a dead girl with her license. She's here to answer questions, and then she can leave again, once she's eighteen," he explained with a small smile. His voice was confident, like he knew without a doubt that his words would help the situation. "Who knows, maybe she'll decide to stay."

I shook my head, scoffed, and looked down at my hands that clutched the pale blue railing. Every fiber of my being resisted the urge to get myself arrested for aggravated assault. "This town is worse than I originally thought," I muttered, talking to the wind because he wouldn't understand.

And he didn't. He kept smiling, like that would somehow comfort me. "What do you mean?" he asked with his confidence slightly shaken.

I stared up at Amelia's window, hoping she would walk by, but she never did. "There's more to her story than she's willing to share," I replied with a smirk. Maybe he already knows. They had a whole car ride together, so it's possible she told him her story.

He stared at me with his eyebrows knitted together, and I wanted to laugh at his confusion, but I walked inside before he could further interrogate me.

This wasn't my battle to fight anymore.

I already lost the war.