Second Life: A Second Chance

Irreplaceable Soul (II)

I stand beside him overlooking the tranquil riverbed for the fifth time this month as we hang out very brotherly-like on this bright summer day. The wind blows gently at me while the smell of the river water strongly permeates throughout the area, creating a sort of odd stillness within me. David, unknown to me, approaches merrily from behind, before fully stopping and continuing on, appearing to harbor some nervousness as he approaches me. I look back to catch his movement and smile in return. Suddenly, David becomes more confident as if a mere glance of mine empowered him to grab my right shoulder with his left hand.

"Hey can I ask you something?" says he, in a tone I have never heard before, one of which that suggests distant fear while also hinting at a sort of eager playful aggression. I, thinking nothing much of it, tell him to go for it.

"So uh, I've really liked you for a long time, more than you can ever imagine. Sometimes I would just picture us kissing and hugging, acting more than just buds time and time again. I can't make these thoughts go away because I really like you. I know it's weird to be telling you all this but I hope you feel the same way, and if you don't it's one hundred percent fine with me! Just please don't snitch on me. We've been friends for a good time now and I'd just like to know if you feel the same way. Sorry!"

Shocked, I stand speechless for an entire second as I try to process everything that has just been uttered out of his mouth. I have never been romantically desired before by another man at that moment in time. I was at a complete loss for words.

"Caemanor? Please! I just wanted to let you know how I feel, please say something."

David was always there for me as a friend for an entire year since I befriended him. I have never really thought about him romantically in any sort of sense. Even still, the fact of him admitting his feelings to me springs to me an all too familiar idea. Deeply afraid of how it could all go south, I do the most oddest thing ever, a mechanism I have not done before with David in an attempt to push away my overwhelming emotions.

"I'm sorry!" I say, deciding to run off somewhere deep in the woods, having an embarrassing kind of fear drive me toward escaping this confrontational moment.

"Caemanor wait!" he yells back but I cannot hear him. 

As his voice diminishes along the sound of my quick moving feet, I continue running and panting, heading away from him as fast as I possibly can. With my body pulsing, my heart racing, and my face sweating, my legs begin to tire themselves out quite quickly, forcing myself to find refuge beneath the shade of a large oak tree somewhere far away from where David and I were. Seated on the floor in awkward sadness, I grab my legs and begin crying on my lap.

As I let the tears of my sadness and insecurities fall down my lap, I find myself graced by an unexpected presence. I look up as I cry somberly, surprised to see him, staring right at me, worried but no longer appearing as nervous.

"Hey why did you run off and why are you crying Caemanor? Are you okay?"

Clearing away the tears with my hands, I offer a very weak response.

"I'm sorry I just don't want you to look at me cry."

"It doesn't bother me at all, I just want to know one thing though. Do you like me back?"

"Yes I do but-"

"But what, spill it. I'm here as your friend first, anything else second," he urges me, holding my right shoulder firmly with his left hand.

"I just, I just don't want to get hurt."

I reach for my left arm with my right and continue anxiously confessing to him about what I felt at that moment.