notes to you

24 // i miss you

it's been days
and you've given me a reason to think about you again.
how is it on the other side of the world,
where i can't call out to you?
it's been only months since we last talked
but i can't seem to remember your voice.
did you pick up on their accent yet?
i wonder if you'd still call me by my last name,
the way only you ever did,
or if you'd come up with yet another nickname for me
which i'd find endearing.
i don't have a lot to say about things,
i just hope you're doing well.
i know things out there are new
and i know you're in a place you don't wanna leave
but there are moments when i think of us some months ago
and wonder if we truly did have a chance.
but i don't say anything to anyone,
not unless i have alcohol seeping in my blood,
but that's just a sorry ecape everyone uses.
in the confines of my walls, though,
i do catch myself staring at an old picture of us i hung up on the wall,
and i wonder, do you miss me?
there are also times when i listen to your favourite song,
and remember that time when you sang it over the phone
even though you can't sing to save your life,
and i remember how my heart jumped every time.
i hate myself for being a hopeless romantic.
most of the times i'm sure i'm over you
but when it's 3 am and the lightening outside can't put me to sleep,
i question myself, am i really?
i don't know if you even care, i only hope that you do.
i don't know if you'll be taller or if you'll have a weird tan when you come back,
i just know that maybe,
a small part of me will never be over you, and i will have to live with that.
i think that's okay with me.
i guess i did have some things to say.
happy birthday.

-s