Everything Isn't What It Always Seems

Chapter One

New story,changed my mind and thought I'd write a story from fresh,no fanfic,might write a fanfic soon.

Chapter One-

Things are easier to hide with a smile, all the terrible things going on at home, the thoughts going through your head, can be as if they didn't exist with a smile. People don't know what's behind a smile till one day it's too late to realize, sometimes you wish someone would look you in the eye when you lie and say tell me the truth.

I got told to keep a diary, write down when I get sad. However I can't help thinking about how it would be like to have friends, to go out, have sleep over, talk about boys, to me that seems like paradise. The thing that hurts the most is that I knew what it was like to have friends, to have a best friend, but my best friend left me alone. I lost him forever.

2 years ago, we would walk down the school corridors hand in hand. We were careless to what others thought, I knew Liam's secret, he was gay. My gay best friend! Nobody knew apart from me but later on everyone started to pick up on his what they thought was his unusual, sexual ways. In the early days when the bullying started it wasn't that bad. One gang would follow him home every night, they never said anything, never even hit him, just followed him home. As time went on things started to get worse, a gang would throw rubbers of his head, occasionally Liam would read what was said on these rubbers, "Fagot". The smiles and confident boy was gone and replaced by a dark and depressed boy. Things eventually started to get more physical. One boy in a art lesson smacked his head off a table, another followed him through the park and pushed him onto the road as a car was heading towards him. The car however stopped but the bullying continued and nobody seemed to notice not even the teachers even if it were staring them in the face. P.E was torture, they'd easily trip him up and get away with it. I started to get worried I noticed the red marks on his arms. I eventually stood up for him which made it worse for me. I thought if I defended Liam he would be grateful but I was wrong. Liam stopped talking to me. He was always at school but he was sat by himself. I didn't want to say anything in case I upset him so I left him. I did notice the bullying getting even more worse, they would hit him in his stomach after him eating that eventually he stopped eating altogether. He was becoming unhealthily skinnier and ill looking. Dark shadows under his eyes made his face look stretched on. I got fed up of not talking to him that I decided that the next day I would speak to him but he wasn't at school. He was never late, and never off school. I started to get more paranoid and stressed and not as focused. When the teacher asked me for an answer I simply mumbled that I wanted to go to the toilet to dismiss myself. A part of me felt lost, gone forever. My head of year ran down the corridor towards me with mascara and tears running down her pale face.

"Ellia, he's gone"

I knew straight away who she was on about, I was never there for Liam, I had let him down, I didn't even get chance to apologies and he was gone. For the rest of the day I refused to do my work which was unlike me, I was the clever, polite girl. I didn't eat an when the bell rang after dinner I ran home and cried my heart out.

Since that day I blamed myself for being a horrible friend so really I didn't deserve any friends after my selfishness. Downstairs I could hear low shouts. It sounded like my drunken dad having another one of his bad tempered moments. I ran down stairs to get my baby sister but as I was turning towards the door to run back up stairs was a gigantic figure blocking my way.

"And where do you think you're going?" My dad shouted.

"Up- upstairs" I muttered.

"NO. You must stay downstairs and suffer, you will pay for your disobedience Ellia"

I was scared, he never shouted at me, Amelia's cries were heard over my dads constant shouting. I was shocked, normally he wouldn't take his anger out on me, the past few weeks for him have being hard, his mother, my grandmother was shot and died. A murder like that would change anyone, deep down in his eyes I could tell he felt the same way I did. Guilt. He wasn't there to save his mother ad he wants revenge. I just feel like now he's taking it out o his family who are doing the best to support him and he's acting selfish.Now he won't stay home with his family, ever since this happened he changed he started to come home from work and mumble something about going to the pub. When he got home in time for tea being served he would smell of alcohol. He would never physically hurt anyone but before i realized what he was doing it was almost too late. He was shaking his fist and his hand swung towards me. Where his hand should of connected to my face, it didn't instead stood a figure in front of me. My dads hand paused in the air.