Everything Isn't What It Always Seems

Chapter four

This is going to be another emotional chapter, sorry :( 

Chapter four-

The weekend at the caravan with my granddad was simply amazing. The only bad thing was that he pressured me to eat. But I managed away to get the food out of my system. It was late on Friday to do anything so all I done was had a relaxing shower and unpacked my bag. I climbed into my soft bed and decided to start reading Divergent. It was strange, it seems so similar to The Hunger Games. I was enjoying myself that I lost track of time. It was 2am before I decided I was going to fall asleep. But even though I felt sleepy it seemed impossible, I kept having flashbacks of Amelia. I burst into tears, I loved my sister, before Caitlin came around she was the only one who made me happy. Now she's gone. I miss her more than words can say. All I sit and think about was how things could've been when we're older, she could've had children, married etc. It kills me to think of what future she could've had. It seems like I'm more trouble for people I cause people so much pain, I caused Amelia and Liam pain and they're both dead because of me. I don't deserve to be alive. I eventually fell asleep at 5am and woke up 8am. I was so exhausted but I woke up to the smell of bacon. I didn't like greasy food but I suppose I was going to have to stomach it. I could smell the oil being used to cook the food and it made me feel slightly queasy. There was a glass of pure orange juice on the small table. I sat at the table and granddad Joe passed my plate full of food. Looks like a greasy English breakfast. Fat sausages, Crispy bacon, beans, golden brown hash browns and squidgy mushrooms. This was the food i used to enjoy. Now I can't eat this without torturing myself afterwards, I forced myself to eat it while granddad Joe was going through today's activities. At 10 am we were going fishing, 12pm we would have lunch, 1:30pm we'll be doing art activities at the cabin and at 4pm we'll be doing a woods adventure and then at 6pm we will be having tea. I loved this place it was childish, the one time I could be free to be myself. After eating breakfast I excused myself saying I would go get ready.

I was lucky to have my own toilet, so it would be less obvious. I would pay for eating all that fat and so I did. Bad thing was everywhere stunk of sick, but I managed to find some lavender air spray to hide the smell for awhile. I collapsed onto my bed and read some more of Divergent for awhile. At 9:15 I decided to put on a vest top and light blue shorts and threw on my converse hoody in case it got too cold. We left to go to the pond with the fishing gear with us. I didn't pay much attention to where we were going, I can remember it all so easily. The pond was a clear blue filled with lily pads, fish and frogs. Freshly cut grass with loads of trees surrounding it. It was beautiful, one day I'm going to paint this. The walk to the pond was quiet until granddad Joe tapped me on the shoulder. I never noticed he was talking to me until then.

"Sorry granddad what were you saying?"

"I was saying Ellia, that you've lost so much weight lately, has someone said something to you at school?"

"No not really, just abit of a joke and anyways I feel so much better when I loose weight"

"Ellia, you'll have nothing to be proud of the way you're going"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean you could become seriously ill, you shouldn't let these bullies win, this isn't the Ellia I know"

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine!

I was so angry, I stomped away ahead of my granddad, ignoring him when he called my name. I just wanted time to forget about things that are going on at home, of course I was never going to forget about Amelia, its to soon to forget about her. When we got to the pond neither of us said anything. Now that I thought about it I didn't feel like fishing, so I left granddad Joe to fish alone while i sunbathed on the grass. While I was lying on my back I could see so many birds flying about, the heat felt good against my face. Granddad Joe had caught 3 fish before I eventually joined in. I was never good at fishing but it was fun to do anyways. In the end I had caught 1 fish and granddad had caught 5. He was winding me up about it. For a change we ate dinner at the cabin's restaurant. I ordered a salad while granddad Joe ordered a steak. Out of the corner of my eye I could see someone staring at me. He had electric blue hair, skinny jeans on. He had a lip piercing too. He was beautiful. I smiled at him when I noticed he smiled at me. Granddad Joe started laughing.