Everything Isn't What It Always Seems

Chapter twelve

Chapter Twelve-

It's been five years since me, mum and Simon have moved to Newcastle. Me and Caitlin were planning on what colleges to go to, we planned what every best friends do, share an apartment together. We would make that happen, we were so determined. These past five years have been difficult but I'm proud to say that I've overcome my depression. Those sore red marks on my wrists and thighs were now faded scars. I was no longer bulimic or anorexic. I was underweight still but only by a few pounds. Everyone knew how hard I was trying. Those years of thinking I wanted to do something in art, me getting support of a social worker who works with people who have difficulties such as depression made me realize I want to help kids who have depression. People might think at the time, you can't overcome it but with that attitude you won't. I'm so glad that I didn't actually die when I attempted suicide because now I've finally noticed I've got a future. The best thing about moving was I fitted in with some groups, I never got bullied. I felt so much safer here.

I had got sick of my hair being black so now it's a cherry red colour. I had alot of facial piercing and a few tattoos which I loved to show off as much as I could. Caitlin's hair was purple but more bright and vibrant. I was still listening to my old favourite bands but now I was starting to like Evanescence. The clothes I started to wear were different. I ditched my skinny jeans which I occasionally wear for short skirts, I'd wear black vests with them. My mum thought I was becoming more of a goth than an emo but who is she to judge. Caitlin still dressed the same. We were still the immature girls we were five years ago.

Aidan, we were still friends, kind of. None of us had moved on really, I still loved him even though I never saw him. I called him the moment I got into the house but he ever answered. Maybe he needed time to talk. I waited 3 months before I got a message off him. He apologized but he didn't want to talk to me. So I promised myself I wouldn't force him to talk to me.

I was 18 now, me and Caitlin had decided to move out of Newcastle and go to Leeds, since that was a popular hot spot for students now a days. I loved out flat. It was small but perfectly ideal. We had small, box shaped rooms which just fitted a single bed, a chest of draws and a small desk. This was basically all I needed.My walls were a blood red colour but covered in posters of all the bands I liked. Caitlin's was very girly, she still had flowery walls even though we were in a different place. It shocked me how much we have both changed. We decided o share the food between, whatever money we would get would be shared between us and that was great because besides studying in college we both had part time jobs. I worked in a Gothic clothes shop where as she just decided to take it small and just work behind the tills at one of the places that sell gig tickets. We both had a busy life now but Saturday nights were what we enjoyed the most. We had found a club that suited us very well and we were planning on going there to drink our selves silly after all we both deserved it.

That Saturday night, I wore my short black skirt that had black bows on and my black vest top that clinged to my petite figure. Caitlin wore her usual skinny jeans and a band t-shirt that I was shocked she liked. The music there was loud, just how everyone liked it. Caitlin had left me alone on the dance floor as she claimed to buy the first round of drinks but when I looked at her she was in a deep conversation with some boy who most likely she'd get their number and never call them. That was the thing about Caitlin, she attracted the boys but she was a mean heart-breaker and ever called any of them back claiming that they're not what she likes. I was left alone to dance and dance I did. I wasn't a good dancer but I suppose when I'm happy I don't care what anyone thinks. I swayed about whipping my hair back and forth to the music. That's when I first saw him dancing with some girl closely their bodies almost touching. I stared at him in horror. Why was he here? Of course he didn't know I was here but all the same, was it a coincidence? Caitlin was back soon tapping me on the shoulder staring in the direction I was looking. She clearly didn't see the look of horror on my face and she obviously didn't recognize him either.

"You think he's cute, don't you?"

I looked at her in disgust. He has moved on from me and good for him, maybe now that I seen him moving on, gave me the thought that now I could move on. I moved my way past him and he gave me a cheeky smile that he used to do. It was right that I realized, no I wasn't going to move on, he looked the same. He still had the same electric blue hair. He still wore his black skinny jeans. All that was different was that he was taller and had a lip piercing. I ignored his smile and pushed my way to the bar. I ignored the shouts of Caitlin saying she had already bought me a drink but I knew it wasn't going to be strong enough. Then he was right beside me.

"Hey, I'm Aidan, want me to buy you a drink"

Oh my gosh, he didn't recognize me. I felt my hear sink a little lower. I looked at him properly as the light shone brightly on my face.

"Ellia, is that you?"

"Yeah"

"Wow, gosh this is awkward, you look different, you know in a good way"

"Thanks you look the same"

"Listen I'm sorry you know"

"I don't care, I suppose its a good thing you stopped talking to me helped me get over you just abit"

"Have you found anyone else?"

"Nope, still waiting you know for prince charming"

"Well, if this is a fairy tale, maybe I can be your prince charming"

The rest of the days I couldn't remember. Aidan had decided to live with me and Caitlin so I had to ditch the single bed to squeeze in a double bed. People when they see my arms they notice all the faded scars, they tell me that they wouldn't expect me to do that to myself. Everyone has a dark time in their life, if you keep fighting you'll get through it, I know I did. It takes alot of time and effort to get through things. You'll still remember it but you'll not care about it as much as you did at one point. If happy ever exist. I lived happily ever after.