You Captured My Heart

Chapter Twelve: I Run, And Run, And Run

Chapter Twelve: I Run, And Run, And Run

Tessa's POV

I spent my whole weekend sulking in my bed all day. The only time I got up was to use the bathroom and eat when Nicky made me. I've worried Nick to death and he thinks my actions have something to do with Matt. I've convinced him it was my doing but he doesn't understand why. It's not exactly like I can tell him either, so I kept to myself. I ate the whole jar of M&M's and filled it up twice.

It's Monday morning and I really don't want to go to school. Then again, school is the one place I know I'll see Matt. I need to see him.

I get dressed and comb a brush through my messy hair. When I'm done getting ready I slowly drag myself down the stairs and grab an apple and the jar of peanut butter. I slice up my apple and dip the slices in the peanut butter. I am addicted to anything peanut butter.

When I finish I walk out the door and start up my brand new car. My father bought me a car over the weekend thinking it might help me feel better. It didn't.

When I get to Language Arts I sit down in my normal seat, which is next to Matt. I don't look at him once, although I know he's desperately trying to catch my attention. Once the bell rings I'm out of my seat and far too gone to turn back when I hear my name being called.

The rest of the day consists of me doing my best to ignore Matt. Sometimes he catches me staring and sometimes he doesn't. I'm halfway to my car when he spins me around.

"I need to talk to you. Come with me?" He pleads. I can't say no to him.

I reluctantly shake my head yes and he pulls me with him. He opens his mouth and then closes it several times before anything actually comes out.

"Jones, I really like you. In fact, I like you a lot and I've liked you for a while." He pauses like he's unprepared for what he's about to say. "Will you please go to the Formal with me?"

I'm shocked, happy, hurt, and angry. I didn't think he wanted to go with me. I want to say yes. I'm sad that I can't go with him. I want to say yes. I'm angry he put me in this position after Friday. I want to say yes.

I really want to say yes. I'm about to call BS on Jessica's blackmail and say yes, but then I see her. She's half scowling half smiling; scowling because I'm with him, smiling because she gets to show everyone the pictures if I break our deal.

Instead tears spring to my eyes as I'm giving him the answer he never wanted. "I can't Matt, I'm sorry." I pull away from his grasp and hop in my car. I drive away with tears streaming down my face. I love him and I just broke his heart.

The rest of the week zooms by with me avoiding Matt and Matt looking disheveled each day. He hasn't shaved, his hair's a total mess, he doesn't eat, and he pays absolutely no attention in class, failing many assignments. All of this because of me. I hate seeing him this way, broken does not look good on him. I hate knowing this is my fault. I just wish Jessica and her stupid pictures would disappear.

I'm sitting on my bed and a thought occurs to me. Matt said he didn't care what Jessica had against me. The only real reason I wanted her to keep it a secret was because I was afraid he would be disgusted by me. I realize now that nothing would change between us. We would always love each other. I know this is true even though he hadn't told me, he loved me.

As I comprehend this I decide I shouldn't break up with the guy I love because I'm scared. I need to embrace my feelings and break the deal with Jessica. I need to be with Matt, and that's exactly what I intend to do.

I run out of the house in the clothes I changed in once I got home. I'm wearing skanky shorts (I usually only wear them around the house) and a t-shirt. I hop in my car and speed all the way to school. I jump out of my car and run into the building. Once I'm inside I run everywhere looking for him. I shove through numerous people dancing with their dates. I find Stacey and run at her, pulling her away from Robert.

"Stacey! Have you seen Matt?" I yell gasping.

"Um, he's with Jessica." She replies with sympathy. She must see the hurt in my yes because she adds," He doesn't seem happy though. He's been looking around all night, probably for you." She's trying to make me feel better but knowing he's with her can only mean one thing. She hasn't yet completed her promise.

"Thanks." I huff half-heartedly.

I walk away from her and continue my search for Matt. I know he's out there somewhere and I need to explain to him. He needs to know how I feel.

I spot Matt in a corner and head over there, shoving through the crowd. Jessica spots me making my way over and glares. She turns toward him and leads him out of the gym. Crap! Crap! Crap! I move faster needing to get to him before anything happens. I push through the door and see them as they turn a corner. I run after them as fast as I can.

When I reach them, what I see mortifies me. She's sucking on his lips and he's doing the same. Their kissing full force. WITH TONGUE! I cry out and Matt turns towards me horrified. Jessica smirks as tears burn in my eyes and fall down my cheeks.

I turn on my heals and run. I run away from Matt. I run away from Jessica. I leave the formal. I leave the building. I run, and run, and run.