Online Life

Chapter 10 - Threats

Claire and Ashton lay sleeping in front of the fireplace for over an hour.  As Claire woke up with a long stretch, she couldn't believe how warm and protected she felt in Ashton's arms.  Even though she had only been asleep for an hour she felt as if she had a full nights rest.  Worry was slowing creeping its way back in though as Claire remembered the smoothie bar.  She couldn't believe that Trojan had actually been there.  What were the chances, Claire thought, that someone she knew online would be where she was vacationing.  The problem was that Trojan wasn't who she thought he would be.  Never in a million years did she think he would be old enough to be her father.  What a pervert! she thought.  He must have known that these girls that he chats with were merely teens.  No wonder he never gave any information out about himself, even though he acted young and went on sites that were known to be popular with teens.  Claire was easily fouled and felt extremely ashamed and embarrassed at the game she was playing with him.  She was also surprised at how her dream only days earlier, warned her of events to come.

Ashton wasn't awake yet and Claire debated on whether she should tell him about what really happened.  He had been so understanding and caring with her that she was feeling guiltier as time went by.  But would he understand the way she acted online? And... Would he still be interested in her if he knew the truth?  Was it a chance Claire could take, she thought.  She knew that if she didn't, she would regret it.  She also knew that she needed someone to talk to about what had happened.  Her mother would freak and her sister... well she doubted her sister would even care.

"You feel warm now.  Did you sleep well?  I know I did" Ashton remarked as he propped himself up on his elbows and looked down intently into her eyes.  "Is everything OK Claire?  You look concerned about something.  I hope you're not feeling sick again." Ashton looked worried now.

"No I'm not feeling sick anymore." Claire decided to just get it over with and tell him the truth.  She just couldn't live with keeping secrets and she had to admit that she was feeling a bit scared about the whole Trojan situation.  "But I do want to talk to you about something..."  Claire sat up to face Ashton and had a hard time looking him in the eyes.  "There's things that I've done in the past Ashton... things that I'm not proud of... and now... today... I'm scared... I'm scared Ashton and I don't know what to do."  as Claire was trying to explain everything to Ashton, it felt as if her stomach was turning inside out.  The feelings inside her were building to the breaking point and she could feel herself slowly lose control.  Her knees went up and she folded her arms around them until she was curled up in a ball.  Trying to feel protected from the eminent doom that she was expecting.  The expectation that once she told Ashton, he wouldn't want her anymore and the fear that Trojan and her bad dreams would never go away.  Claire couldn't help the tears that started to fall.

"Claire don't cry... please don't cry.  I can take anything you have to say.  I promise!" Ashton whispered as he brushed her cheek free of the tear that was falling.  Claire knew that it was now or never.  She needed to do this.  So Claire began to tell Ashton of her side life that she lived online.  The life where she wasn't as innocent as Ashton may have thought.  The life that included her sexual chats to guys on various sites and to especially Trojan.  She didn't leave anything out because she wanted to be free of it.  Free of the guilt and shame that was now eating at her.  Free of the person she no longer wanted to be, but to become the person she was with Ashton.  Ashton listened intently and didn't interrupt as she explained.  He didn't look shocked yet he seemed almost too quiet.  Claire knew that he was taking it all in and trying hard to understand.  Then Claire explained what happened at the smoothie bar.  Claire could see Ashton visibly tense and furrow his brow.

"Claire don't you know the internet is full of perverts, pedophiles and just plain creeps out there to take advantage of girls. If this Trojan you've been talking to is the guy at the smoothie bar, then I'm glad you told me.  There is no way... and I mean no way in hell I'm going to let someone hurt you.  Do you hear me Claire!" Ashton was grabbing her shoulders now almost shaking her to understand.  "Claire!  Do you hear me!  No one is ever going to hurt you.  You mean too much to me!" Ashton pulled her into his arms and held her tight trying to sooth Claire's sobbing.