Dear Diary

t w e n t y - t w o

"We have to go shopping soon," Ari remarked, eating a bagel. She was looking better, almost like the happy girl I had seen in the picture. I still had that picture, tucked away in a locket I wore.

"But you'll be recognized, won't you?" I pointed out. I was also eating a bagel, along with some coffee. I tended to drink that a lot.

Ari frowned. "That's true." She looked down; I needed to cheer her up.

"On a scale of one to ten, how much do you want to go shopping?" I asked her.

"Eleven," she replied, and I laughed. She smiled.

"Alright, then we can go shopping," I said. "I know how to get around unnoticed."

•~•

I drove us to the mall. We were both wearing hats with sunglasses, and Ari had put her hair up (which she said she rarely does) so not as many people would recognize her.

"Where do you want to go first?" I asked her.

"A clothes store," she responded.

"Which one?"

"I dunno. I haven't been shopping in forever."

We ended up just walking around the mall, entering a store if either one of us liked it. Ari got some clothes so she didn't have to walk around in the hospital gown (which she threw out, by the way) or some of my old clothes (which she was wearing currently).

"You should probably get some clothes too," Ari pointed out, holding at least eight bags full of new clothes, perfume, makeup; anything else girls buy.

"Why?" I asked, confused. I didn't see anything wrong with my clothes.

Ari raised an eyebrow, pointing the my jeans. Okay, yeah they had a huge rip in both knees, but that was fine, right?

She rolled her eyes when the bewildered look on my face didn't go away. She grabbed my wrist with difficulty, pulling me into a store nearby for guys.

"What kind of jeans do you wear?" she asked, going over to the jeans section and looking at all the different kinds.

"Um, the jeans kind," I answered.

Ari snorted, picking up a pair nearby and pushing it at me. "Go try those on," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," I said jokingly, asking for a change room and then trying the jeans on.

To be completely honest, I hadn't gone shopping in a while, just like Ari. I didn't see the point, since I fit in my jeans just fine, even though they were a little rugged, plus there would be people at the mall or at any store in general that would recognize me. That was something I wanted to avoid.

I stepped out of the change room and walked over to Ari, who was sitting on a chair nearby. She looked up when I approached, having been staring at her feet.

"Well?" she prompted. "How do they fit?"

"They fit well," I answered. "Maybe a little loose, but I can always wear a belt."

Ari nodded. "Perfect. We'll get you another pair of jeans, and then some shirts."

Ari picked out a pair of jeans exactly like the first ones I tried on, except that they were black. Then we went over to the shirt section, where I picked out a couple shirts. Ari told me to try them on, so I headed over to the change rooms again and tried them on.

I decided to take off my hat and sunglasses, since they would only get in the way. I forgot to put them on as I went out to model the shirts for Ari. She smiled, then laughed when I pretended to be a model walking down the runway. Her laughter attracted the attention of a girl nearby, waiting for her brother or boyfriend or friend to pick a shirt. Her eyes widened when she saw who I was, and she poked her friend to get his attention. I immediately stopped modeling, quickly walking into the change room to quickly get dressed and get out of here ASAP.

"Niall? What's wrong?" Ari looked concerned, speaking in a hushed tone.

I shook my head. "Let's just get out of here, okay?"

Ari looked confused but agreed. We headed over to the check-out, and as the cashier began ringing my items through, I saw more and more people looking my way.

"Thank you," I murmured to the cashier after paying for my clothes. I walked as quickly as I could, trying to get out of the store.

"Niall?" the first girl said. I bit my lip, quickening my pace. "Niall Horan!"

"Is it really him?" someone said in a hushed tone. "He doesn't look too great."

"Niall!" another someone called. "I'm sorry about your loss!"

I couldn't take it anymore, beginning to run. Even after I was out of the store, I still ran, trying to make it to my car quickly. People gave me weird looks, but those looks changed to sympathetic looks when they realized who I was. I hadn't put my hat and sunglasses back on; they were clutched tightly in my hand.

Once I reached the car, I remembered Ari. She was breathing hard, obviously not used to running. I wasn't, either.

"Niall?" she said. "What the heck was that?"

"Nothing," I muttered, unlocking my car and getting in, I threw my bags in the backseat as Ari slide in next to me, gently putting her bags down.

The ride home was filled with silence. I noticed Ari glancing over at me, my entire body tense. I tried to relax, but I found I couldn't. I was clutching the driving wheel tightly.

"Niall," she said softly, placing a hand on my arm. "It's alright."

I managed to give her a smile, but I felt anything but cheerful.

If only you knew, Ari. If only you knew.