Dear Diary

s e v e n t e e n

"I'm actually surprised," Nora said, leading me down the lemon scented hallway. "Aristasia doesn't usually like any of her visitors. You're a first."

"She likes being called Ari," I answered.

I had come to see Ari again. She seemed to like me, I liked her; it all worked. None of the nurses expected me to actually show up again, but they were pleased when I did.

"She needs someone to keep her company," one of them had remarked.

Nora and I reached room one-seven-three. Nora opened it for me and then notified me that she would be leaving again. She reminded me about the button and not to hesitate to call her if need be.

"You're back." Ari sounded pleased yet surprised when I entered her room.

"Of course I am," I said, sitting down on the chair I had occupied yesterday. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"No one's ever come to see me twice," she answered. "Well, except the nurses, but that's their job."

"Nora told me you don't usually like your visitors."

"Yeah, that could also be a reason, I suppose," Ari mused.

"Why don't you like most people?" I asked. "You don't have to tell me if you don't like."

"Nah, it's fine," Ari said. "Because... hmm, let's see. They treat me like a child, they speak to me like I'm dying, and they pry too much." She picked at a loose thread on the white blanket. "Nora's gonna cut this soon."

I eyed it. "Why?"

"Scared it's going to get long enough that I'll try and hang myself again." She rolled her eyes. "I don't see why they don't let me out of here already. I'm fine as long as I don't have to see Geoff or Jamie, and I won't be seeing either of them."

"You won't? I thought Jamie went to your school."

"I'm transferring once I get out of this place," she said, looking at the plain white walks distastefully. "After I'm gone, I won't be able to stand the sight of white."

"I already hate the colour white," I said. "It's too bland."

"Exactly," Ari said. "Finally someone gets me." She smiled. "So. Why did you come again?"

"To see you."

"Other than the obvious." She glanced at me. "What do you see in me, anyways?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you must've seen something in me, whether it be the picture or my writing," she reasoned. "Otherwise you wouldn't have checked in on me."

"I don't really know," I admitted. "I guess the way you wrote intrigued me, made me want to get to know you."

Ari raised her eyebrow but didn't pry. "Alright, whatever." She glanced unhappily at a plate of mush on the bedside table. I hadn't noticed it.

"Oh, I've got something for you," I said, opening my jacket and pulling out a box from my inside pocket. I handed it to her, and her face lit up. It was a box of chocolate bars.

"You got this for me?" she asked, shaking it slightly to make sure there was actually something in there. Like she was checking to make sure it wasn't a joke.

"Duh."

She smiled at me mocking her and then opened the box. "Wow. No one ever gets me stuff."

"Not even your parents?"

I regretted asking the question as soon as her face hardened.

"I'd rather not talk about that," she said stiffly, closing the box and putting it underneath the bed.

"Won't Nora check down there?" I said, trying to change the topic as soon as possible. I didn't want to make Ari hate me because I pried. Just like everyone else.

"No. I never have anything to hide, so there's no point in checking for anything." Ari seemed relieved at the topic change, but her voice was still a little cold. "They have all my stuff in a tiny locker in the locker room. I'll get it back when I leave, and who knows when that'll be."

She stared longingly out the barred window and sighed. "I wish I could get a breath of fresh air every once in a while, but the nurses here are way too overprotective. I can barely take a shower before one of them knocks on the door, asking if I'm still alive, asking what's taking so long."

I felt pity for Ari, even though I knew she would hate it if I told her that. She didn't seem like the type of girl who wanted people to pity her.

My guess was correct, because Ari seemed satisfied that she could mope without me saying anything. She faced me again.

"You're different than most people," she said.

"How so?"

"No pity, no personal questions, no little kid voice. You treat me like I'm equal, not like I'm the younger, mentally unstable one. Why?"

I shrugged. How was I supposed to answer a question like that? "I just put myself in your position, I guess. I wouldn't want to be treated like that either, if I were the one sitting on the bed and you were the one on the chair, visiting me instead of the other way around. We kind of think the same, I suppose."

Ari studied me before nodding. "Do you have a phone?"

"Yeah, of course."

"What's your number?" She pulled out a phone of her own.

I told her, and she entered it down in a new contact. Then my phone buzzed, and I knew she texted me.

"You get Internet here?" I asked.

"I get service, not Internet," she answered, tucking her phone back into her pocket. "I don't really use it, though. No one texts me anymore."

"What do you do to pass time?"

"Read fanfiction that I've read ten million times already." She rolled her eyes. "I'm not even into fanfiction, but at least it gives me something to do."

Ah. Fanfiction. Something I've steered clear of since two-thousand-ten. Some of it is disturbing, while others are... disturbing.

"Promise you'll text me?" Ari asked.

"I promise."

"Good." She smiled. "I finally have something to do."

I smiled too. "I'm glad I could be of service."

We talked some more until Nora came and sent me home.