Bad Girl In Disguise (SAMPLE) I ✔

A N Y M O R E

Here goes therapy. Or as I like to call it, an hour of uncomfortable silence with a flirting stranger.

"Hello Jessica," Matt said. He's my therapist and quite creepy. He's in his mid-twenties and flirts with me non-stop. It's annoying the crap out of me.

"Hi Matt," I said, my tone flat. Immediately as I walk in, my mask slips on. The blank and emotionless stare naturally overtakes my face when I see the smilling man.

"How are you today? Were you a bad girl again?" Matt asks with a wink and a mischievious smile. I keep my face blank as I stare back.

Here we go again.

:

I walk out of the therapy room and breathe out a sigh of relief. I hate it there. I despise everything about this.

How does this man and the hospital even think that a stranger can help me get better? Even I can't make myself get better.

Ever since that incident happened, my mother is paranoid that I'll try it again. Which is quite justified. I tried overdosing on pills but mother hid them away somewhere.

The knives in the kitchen are gone. All the pills and anything remotely sharp is gone. The only thing I have is my pocketknife. The one I bought behind mother's back.

I'll try again today. And this time, I will lock the goddamn door.

I arrive home and rush up the stairs to my room. Determination fills me as I imagine the knife hidden beneath a stack of books.

I always wondered why blood is crimson. Eventually, I found out it was because of red blood cells. But when I was younger, I thought they were like tears that my heart cried.

The accuracy my child self had is almost eerie.

"I knew it."

"Get the fuck out of my room Lucas," I growled out. He's sitting on my bed, my knife twirling between his skilled fingers.

"You're going to try leave again, aren't you?" Lucas asks. I ran a hand through my hair frustratedly as desperation fills me.

I need to leave. I need to escape.

"It's all your fault!" I screamed. "You cheated on me and had the audacity to come near me again! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR GODDAMN FACE ANYMORE!!"

I sounded like a maniac. A half-psycho. But I can't care less.

"Calm down, Jesse," Lucas says, standing up and approaching me. I sneered and swiped the knife from his hand. I pointed it at him.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I shrieked. "You put me in this hellhole. And I'm leaving!"

"Let me fix this," Lucas said, sounding just as desperate as I am. "I can help you."

"YOU BROKE ME!" I shouted. This is the last straw. I can't take this anymore. I touch the tip of the knife to his chest and Lucas freezes.

"I know. It's all my fault and I know it," Lucas says softly.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I shouted as tears pooled in my eyes. They streaked down my cheeks one by one. I can't do this. I can't anymore.