Bad Girl In Disguise (SAMPLE) I ✔

H A P P Y

School is a distant memory. Simply a thought floating in the back of my mind with the rest of them. And by them, I mean eating and sleeping.

I stay locked up in my room, barely eating. And it isn't a concious choice, to starve myself. I just don't remember to eat.

The house is basically baby-proofed. Nothing sharp. Nothing dangerous.

And nothing fun, my subconscious adds. So for tonight, I decide I want a bit of fun.

I dress in all black. A black leather jacket over a black tank top. Some black jeans and my combat boots. And a black cap to top it all off.

I look terrible. My skin is pale and dark circles line the bottom of my tired brown eyes. I brush my tangled hair and let it cascade down my back.

I forgot once. I can do it again.

So I climbed down as usual. I took out my bike from it's usual hiding spot and hopped on. But I couldn't help but feel that something is wrong.

Lucas isn't here with me...

Fuck Lucas. He can go whoring for all I care. He isn't worth my time and energy to think about.

And with that in mind, I go and drive off into the night.

The feeling is definitely familliar. The wind rips through my clothes and whips my hair wildly. But the adrenaline and energy rush I used to feel isn't there.

I feel nothing. Like an empty shell of who I used to be.

I arrived at my favorite club. The party is already going on and pounding music pours from the open door. I nod to the bouncer and he nods back, his sharp eyes already on the person behind me.

I take a deep breath and step in, immediately regretting my decision. I just realized something. This is where I met Lucas for the first time.

I shake the thought off and head for the bar. The bartender smiles at me and I force a smile on my lips.

I order 2 shots and down them both. The effects almost immediately kick in and I feel myself sway a little.

Forget. Just forget him and the rest of the world. Just for this night, be who you are.

But who am I exactly? Aren't I just a sad and broken girl trying to ignore her problems and have fun?

No. I'm the girl that wants a happy ending but still stay as herself.

I ask for another shot and down it too, the liquid burning my throat. My vision starts to blur a bit and my feet can't seem to keep on the ground.

But I don't care.

I walk to the dance floor confidently and start dancing. For once, my moves are confident and firm. I let the music course through me while choking back tears that desperately want to escape.

This is who I am. A pitiful girl with a suitcase of problems and a miserable life. I'm just a girl, trying to survive a cruel world while staying true to myself.

I feel gentle hands grab my waist, wrapping around my torso. Although my mind managed to push the thought of Lucas away, he's front and center now.

I turn around and instead of a smirking angelic demon, I find Arc.

His eyes hold a certain happiness in them. They look bright and cheerful as they stared into mine.

"Glad to see you out and about, Jesse," Arc says with a smile to match his cheery tone. I force another smile on my face.

"I'm feeling better now," I say nonchalantly. But my eyes bore into his, silently willing him to see how broken I still am.

"So you're okay now?" Arc asks again.

No I'm not. I haven't been okay in a long time and I am definitely not okay now.

"Yup."

"Wanna hang out sometime?" Arc asks hopefully.

No I don't. I don't want to go in public and have people judge me by my scars. Both the ones on my wrist and on my heart. I'm not okay.

"If I have time," I say with a shrug. Inside, I'm begging him to see through my lie.

I can't tell him I'm not okay. I can't let my mask slip.

"Are you going to go back to school?" Arc asks. I almost wince in pain at the memory of school.

He expects me to go back? To a place where they say 'be yourself' and then bully and judge you for it? A place where no one cares and my life is a living hell?

No thank you.

"Maybe," I answered. "I gotta' go."

I untangled myself from him and rush out before Arc can ask anything else or protest. I can't stand another second in there.

So I drive. I have my headphones on and music is blasting through. What music? I don't even know. All I know is that I will ignore the world tonight.

The world ignored me. They didn't care about what I'm going through. Well, two can play at that game.

I think cars honked and I almost got run over twice. A part of me still wishes that they did run me over.

I finally found it. A small grassy hill far away from everything. Where I can be alone with my thoughts.

I put my leather jacket on the damp grass and sit down. I send a quick text saying that I'm staying at a friend's tonight, eventhough not a single soul in the world can be called my friend.

A shooting star passes by and the child in me instantly makes a wish.

When I was smaller, I used to wish for a pegasus. Or a light saber. Or even those cool knight armours from medieval times.

Sometimes I would ask for a pet dragon. Or a big werewolf friend. Anything my little mind could think of that I know won't be bought by riches.

Friends. Love from my parents. Attention. All those things.

But tonight my wish is simple. It's 6 words that almost every person deep down wishes for.

I wish I could be happy.

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A/N
Hey guys!

These chapters are depressing as hell.

Yeah I know, most teen fiction stories are full of sunshine and rainbows. They have love and a tiny bit of relationship issues. And then they get a happily ever after.

Well, I never said that this is a cliche story. In fact, my tag is literally #notcliche. Why? Because my personal experience is more depressing than love. So here it is.

Sorry if the story took a drastic turn. My original plan for the story is to have Jesse be herself and then poof! Happy ending.

But being yourself isn't the end of it. It's a lot more complicated than that.

I need your help though. Do you want the story to have a happy ending? Or would a sad one make more sense? Comment please! I am genuinely confused on what you guys would like and I want to know what you think.

Please comment and vote if you liked this chapter!

Stay awesome,

Angie

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Word count: 1203