Perception

Chapter 5: Dean

It must have been at least two hours.... two hours that I'd been looking at my ceiling without even realizing it. The only image in my head was Mrs. Brown. Her eyes full of pity directed on me. She was talking but I didn't understand what she was saying. It was blurry, a mix of sounds that I'd heard thousands of time and that were scaring me to death. No matter what her blah blah was, I was sure I would never accept.... That I would rather die than going in therapy. I didn't need therapy....I was fine and I am fine....Why couldn't they understand that???? 

I didn't have time to think further about it. A giant pillow was thrown in my direction. Without even looking at it, I raised my arm to block it. 

-What was that for? I asked my sister

-I have been talking to you for the past 5 minutes! 

-So.....?

-Come with me for an ice cream, Tessa asked me.

-You know I don't like big crowds.

-You could wait outside......

-And look like a freak watching small kids no way....

-Ok then come inside. It is raining anyway. There will be fewer people.

-Will I get to dip my ice cream into chocolate?

- Gosh, you're such a child! yelled my sister as I got up. 

-That's why you are my big sister Tessa, I added before kissing her head. 

She smiled for the first time in ages. Before I could add anything, she got out my bedroom and raced downstairs. My smile immediately disappeared, I knew how it was going to end again: me panicking and her apologizing for bringing me.

-You're coming or what???? she yelled from the ground level.

Wanting to please her, I ran down the stairs and followed her in the rain

*****

As I should have expected, Tessa made me walk so we would be able to have a long conversation about Jason.

-So, are you two friends or.....?

-Me? Friend with that bastard? I don't think so.

-You know, he may be right.... therapy can help.....

-I thought we were going for ice cream, not in a psychologist's office.

-Yeah.... sorry..... Your Sergent called you know?

-Why?

-Hummm..... He wanted to know how you were doing.

-Why would he do that?

-He cares about you! 

-Ok...., I said as I stopped. I beg you. Do not do the same as usual.....Don't talk to me about the field. About a supposed PTSD that I do not have or about a new therapy that may help me. Ok? Please. At this point I just want an ice cream....

She looked at me before starting to walk again.

-Ok....

Her tone was strange. It was a mix of rage and pity. I ran after her. Reaching her, I grabbed her arm gently to stop her.

-What's wrong?......Tess....?

She turned to me,her eyes full of ice.

-You asked me to not talk about the field or any therapy. Fine. So let's get that freaking ice cream!

-What is happening to you? I inquired, worried.

-He's dead...

-What?