MCR imagines

Gerard Way - Imagine

TRIGGER WARNING

"@(Y/N) is such a fat slut!"

"@(Y/N) doesn't deserve Gee!"

"@(Y/N) is so ugly, Gerard could do much better!"

As I scroll down my twitter feed, I feel more and more worthless with every comment I read. I was already self conscious about my weight and these comments only solidified my thoughts.

I can't take it anymore, Gerard is in band practice so I can take my time doing what I need to do. I had promised Gerard that I would stop, but I can't resist. The voices becoming louder and clouding my judgement.

I slowly make my way to the bathroom, my head bowed. Entering the room, I unhinge the mirror and take the blade from behind. Staring at my old scars sends a wave of piercing guilt into my chest.

Tearing my eyes away from the healed lines across my skin, leads me to catch my reflection in the previously discarded mirror. My eyes red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears, a small grimace where my smile should be. I take the blade in my hand and slowly scrape it along my arm.

I tinge at the sudden pain, but after a few seconds the pain becomes addicting. Slowly the blood starts trickling down my arm. A sigh of relief escapes my lips.

I keep cutting, every one deeper than the last. I loose myself in the stinging sensation, the previous comments situating themselves into my mind, with no plan of leaving. I feel myself getting weaker with every slice.

My knees give way beneath me, finding myself situated on the cold tile of the floor. My arms feel heavy and dreadfully cold as they rest against my sides. Small drops of blood begin to paint the white tiles as the streams of warm liquid cascades down my arms.

My eyes feel heavy and I felt as if I had been doused in cold water. My eyelids begin to close without my permission. The last thing I hear before the darkness encompasses me was the rattle of keys against front door.

*Time Skip*

My slumber is interrupted by the incessant beeping filling my ears. As I squint open my eyes - taking a lot more effort that usual - I notice the colour white. The empty walls, the barren ceiling, the stone-cold floor. Looking down I notice my heavily bandaged arms, the material itching my skin but it's not like I have the energy to scratch away the uncomfortable feeling.

However, one thing did not match the chemically clean room I was bound to. A presence sits beside me; the figure hunching over, dark locks covering their face.

"Oh my God (Y/N)!" Gerard exhales loudly, finally breaking the silence. His eyes puffy, dark bags prominent against his pale complexion.

"Hey... Gee" I croak, my unfocused eyes wandered slowly around the room.

"Why?" he questions. The look in his sunken eyes makes me regret my actions from the night prior. Though I shrug, unsure of how to answer him.

"I don't know what I would do without you, I love you (Y/N)" He clasps his shaky hand within my own, his thumb drawing small circles against my skin.

"I love you too.. Gee" It didn't matter what other people would think about us. He loved me and I loved him. We had each other.

A/N
If you are facing tough times and you ever consider harming yourself in any way, you are not alone, nothing is worth hurting yourself over.