If Only...

Chapter 12

6 years ago-

"Cathy baby what are you doing tonight?" My friend Jason asked through the phone. I smiled knowing that tonight was a perfect partying night. Lately that's been my life and I love it so much! My friends and I have the best time.

I got dressed in a mini red dress with enough of myself showing to attract the boys, but only the classy ones. I didn't want just anyone flirting with me tonight.

After getting ready I pulled up to a pretty classy club. The music was blaring and I was excited. Jason was a security guard here and tonight was his night off. He said that he was gonna see what the hype was about, if it was as legendary as everyone said. He didn't like the whole bodyguard thing, but it paid the bills. We normally didn't go here, but tonight was special. It was my birthday.

The club was amazing. We were having the time of our lives until this guy tried to get too close. Jason was a little over protective, not that I minded. It ended in a fight that almost got us kicked out, but it didn't. The guy wouldn't leave me alone and like an idiot I decided to give him a chance. His name is Carry. He seemed a little aggressive, but I could handle my own. Jason found a girl and was quickly getting hammered. That meant I was on a loose leash. And for that I was happy. Carry wanted to leave the club for someplace more private, which after a few drinks, I was cool with.

Carry turned out to be my worst nightmare. He took me out of the city and wouldn't tell me where we were going. I thought he was harmless so I had no reason not to believe him. I wish I hadn't been so trusting back then, but then my story would have turned out a lot differently if I hadn't been that way back then.

When we got out of the city he took men to the slack and laid down the rules. I was going to have a different identity, change my hair color, eye color, everything that I could. He then told me that I would be one of "his girls". Fear does a funny thing to you. It strips you of everything sensible and takes control of your mind. It controls you. He threatened my life and my family, so I did as I was told, for five years I did everything that I was told. I was afraid. If I'm honest to myself I still am. He won."

-present day-

I looked into Taylor's eyes expecting condemnation and safeness and all I saw was hope. He gathered me into his protective arms, and for once in a very long time I felt safe.

"Cathy, listen, he doesn't win unless you let him. Do you want him to win? Huh?"

"You don't understand he already has won!" I said into his chest letting out a sob.

"No he hasn't! Not unless you let him. Don't let him. Let the Lord win, sweetheart."

"He doesn't want to win my battles. He turned his back on me a long time ago! He gave me over to Carrey. Therefore Carrey won."

"Oh sweetheart you have so much to learn."