the outsiders messages 3

36

April 27th.
Elena's POV

    After a little screaming and more crying, i finally give in and let dally in my room. He looked at my bloodshot eyes and smeared mascara with sympathy and i immediately regretted letting him in.  He comes over to the bed where i was curled up and sits on the edge of it. We sat like that for a few seconds until he finally looked up at me.
    "You're not okay. anyone with eyes can see that you aren't" Dally says sort of sternly.
"So i'm gonna ask you what's wrong and i don't want you to lie to me Elena, no more bullshit. please" His piercing eyes stare into mine and i almost lose it. I look down at my hands which were now shaking, and take a deep breath. He reaches over and takes my hands in his, despite the small flinch.
    "I uh" i begin, not really sure how to tell him.
"I don't want you to treat me any differently. Like i'm more fragile or whatever the fuck" i snap, taking him by surprise. He inches closer and nods, still holding my hand.
"I was at a party, in cali... and i had a lot to drink" i say, choking on my words and tears welled up in my eyes. Fuck this was going to be hard, i can't look at him.
"I-i kept telling him no, but he wouldn't listen.." i say looking down at the ground. Dally stiffens and he looks at me confused.
   "He raped me Dal. That's what happened and that's why i'm not okay, because that's all i think about now" i say, trying hard to keep it all in. He looks at me with sad eyes and sighs. Dally's face falls and he pulls me into him, and i lose it. I hear Grace outside the door start to cry, and i knew that she knew. I didn't care, i had no energy to care.
    "This wouldn't have happened if i wasn't so fucking stupid" i say into his chest.
"Hey, don't blame yourself for this doll" he whispers. I haven't seen the soft side of Dallas since we were dating, and god did i miss him.
"No prick is gonna touch you like that again, i'm here. Ill kill them, okay? You're safe now" Dally says reassuring me.  I knew i wasn't, because it wasn't long before the gang found out. What would they do, how would the react? Would they be as disgusted with me as i am, or would they treat me like a delicate thing that would break at the word sex? I couldn't have them look at me weird, or treat me differently, i just couldn't.
"I need to go" i say getting up, but Dally pulls me down.
"No. You can't leave. you can't leave Grace again, and you can't leave me again" he says looking at me with wide eyes. He takes his hand and wipes a tear from my face and i fall into him.
"I need you... we all do" he whispers. We sit like that for a while, me laying against his chest and his arms wrapped around me. Grace was in her bedroom silent, and the world was spinning around me. I felt like i couldn't breathe, like everything was turned upside down. I was coming to terms with what happened to me. I never imagined telling anyone what happened, and i sure as hell never imagined Dallas Winston helping me through it.
You can't leave me again.
     You can't leave me again.
               i need you.