the outsiders messages 3

7

April 7th
Grace's POV

The two people i loved most in the world were standing across from the bed, avoiding eye contact with me. I knew the what they wanted the minute they walked in, by the way the nurses were talking to them quietely, how Soda wouldn't look at me.
I take a deep breath and pat the side of my bed. Elena adjusts her stance against the counter and Soda comes over and sits, but faces away from me.
"They uh, want us to talk to you" Soda says sadly.
"I figured" i reply, sitting back against the pillow.
"Did you do it because i left?" Elena says looking up at me. Her eyes were glassy and she looked like she was about to break.
"N-no.. Not entirely" i whisper. Soda shifts uncomfortably. I know this makes him upset, he keeps blaming himself.
"I just.. You left, and i kept wondering why i uh.." i choke out.
"why i wasn't good enough for you to stay around. Why i wasn't good enough for anyone to stay around for that matter" i say, forcing a laugh to make it less awkward. Elena's head shoots up and Soda turns to face me, his eyes scan my face.
"I felt so ugly and bad that i couldn't stop you from leaving. And i kept thinking that if you left and so did Dal, that Soda would too. so, i uh.. you know" i say, looking at my hands and trying my best not to cry.
Soda slips his arm around me, and i curl into him. I hate that i hurt him, it drives me crazy. He looks so sad, wearing the blue flannel that's my favorite and his hair doesn't even have grease in it. He's been here so much that he forgot about it.
"You are good enough, and you sure as hell aren't ugly" Soda whispers.
"Yeah, you're the hotter one in this friendship" Elena says winking at me.
"Dal came back, which made me feel a little better. But you didn't, so uh two months ago it got worse and i couldn't stop doing it" i say, watching Soda's hand draw circles on my leg.
"I promise i'm gonna eat more, as long as you don't leave" i exclaim looking right at Elena.
"Okay" she chokes out.
"Damn right you're going to eat. And if you eat when i'm around i'm sleeping over to make sure it stays where it belongs" Soda says, and i try not to laugh at his attempt of seriousness. He smiles at me and kisses me.
"Welp. Guess i better go get those discharge papers" Elena says smiling. My eyes light up and so does Soda's. The nurse said i can leave in two days, if i keep up the good work.
"Just so you know, I don't have plans of going anywhere. Anytime soon" Soda says, his icy blue eyes staring into mine. I nod and lay back against him, happy to have him back and my bestfriend back. I try to push down the sick feeling in my stomach, and focus on going home instead of focusing on how much weight i gained these past couple days.
"Go make sure she's out there" i say to soda, and he gives we a weird look.
"I wanna make sure she didn't leave or something. Also, tell Dally i wanna see him".
"Okay... and you know he isn't gonna come if elena is here" he says getting up.
"He doesn't have to know that she's here" i reply. He smirks and walks out.