Don't Give Up On Me [Book 2]

Chapter 36

"Marry me." Was all he said that made the perfect bubble that we created tonight burst. He looked so happy and full of hope when he asked me, but it wasn't just right. Not yet, at least, we hadn't even confirmed that we were back together yet he asked me to marry him, just like that.

"Hayden..." I started, giving him a hesitant look, "I don't think now is the right time."

He narrowed his eyebrows, his smile fading. He couldn't understand where I was coming from at all, it didn't make any sense to him.

"Why would you lie to me?" He finally, after a minute of deadly silence, spoke.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You said you loved me back, just – fuck just minutes ago!" He spat, removing his arm from me in pain. I could see that he was hurting and I could completely understand why. I had just told him I loved him, I had always been the only girl he ever thought about since the day he met me, he always showed me, yet I am here rejecting him just after he gave himself to me.

"Hayden, listen I-"

"No! You listen!," He sat up in the bed, looking into another direction, before continuing, "I can't keep doing this, I can't! All you do is hurt me. You make me feel like you love me, then reject me! I could give you everything, Leah. I could give you a house with enough space for the three-- heck even Zahir could join us-- to live, you'd never have to work, because the money in The Cave is more than enough to last us a lifetime! I could be a father, for Jaymi, a husband to you. I'd give you all the love I fucking have in me, because that's how much I love you, but you just don't seem to realize that, Leah! Can't you fucking understand that I go crazy just by thinking I could possibly lose you?"

"Hayden I --"

"I am not finished yet!" He growled, "I love you so much, it hurts, Leah. Do you know what hurts even more?"

He didn't wait for any sort of response before he continued almost whispering as he clenched his fists: " To know you would never love me the same as I love you. I'd jump into a fucking volcano if that meant saving you, knowing that I would kill myself if you were to be killed. Yen can't exist without Yang. But it hurts to know that Yang could perfectly survive among the likes of itself without Yen on its side."

I was hurt, hurt by the things that he accused me of, because I loved him so much it hurt, too. I couldn't ever begin to describe how I felt about him, it was not possible in words, so to hear that he thought I was basically only using him from my pleasure was a great insult to me. But oddly enough I was proud of him, so freaking proud that he just let his thoughts out, that he wasn't blinded by thinking I were perfect.

I threw my arms around him, tackling him back to the bed as he gasped loudly, not expecting that at all.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He said angrily, trying to push me off, but I only clung more to him, not letting him separate me and him.

"Leah... let go." He said now, a bit softer, but I still didn't budge.

"Leah!"

"I want to marry you some when in the future, when everything is worked out, when we have our jobs sorted out, when we are emotionally stable enough to deal with all the stress of planning, I want us to trust each other fully before we take it to the next step. I want us to slow down and take step by step, Hayden, this is just so overwhelming and all too soon, but believe me when I say that I love you. I wouldn't lie about that, you know me Hayden." I whispered into his chest, still clinging onto him, fearing that he might still be angry and eventually take the decision to leave. I needed him just as much as he needed me.

His breathing was rapid as his arms found their way around me, pushing myself into him without another word used. Slowly, we fell into a deep, much needed slumber, knowing that if any of us spoke up , it would've ruined the moment.

"LEAH! FUCKIN SHIT! WE HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM!" I heard a voice scream out from the hall way, big and quick steps were made into my bedroom's direction, startling me with each step.

Hayden shot his eyes open, alarmed as he immediately pushed myself behind him and reached for the night stand, where usually his gun would be placed, but of course he wasn't allowed to carry one around anymore, so he left it at The Cave. There was a banging on Leah's door.

"Leah! Evans!" The manly voice cried out in fear – Zahir.