Internal Wonders

Heartache

"I don't want to lose you. Don't take your last breath. Please, I beg you, don't take your last breath.

I know that it's hard to constantly lay in a hospital bed, having tests done and staring at the ceiling all day and night, but I can't lose you. I know, it's selfish of me. So very selfish, but I can't help it. I love you with all my heart and cannot go through another loss. Especially not you. Nothing compares to that. You're the one I turn to when I have tears streaming down my face, when I need someone to talk to, when I need advice from someone who knows how it feels. You're the one I always turn to.

I haven't always been the best, far from it, but I always wanted to do my best for you. I always wanted to make you proud. I always wanted to talk to you because you had the most amazing stories. Staying strong is what you always do, and you make me stronger. I will not give up. I will never give up because of you.

As I sit here with tears streaming down my face, I know that there's nothing I can do and it kills me. I'm not religious, but I pray for you daily. I don't know who I pray to, but I pray for you. While you lay in your hospital bed tonight, remember that I'm praying for you. I may not be able to see you now, and that hurts me deeply, but all I need you to do is hold on for me. Keep holding on. Breathe."