The Beauty Of You // Lams Soulmate AU

The beauty of lonlieness

I don't pay attention in class so I got great ideas which might end in tragedy idk.

I should be studying for Spanish but I don't wanna get off the "I'm being productive as an author and not a student so that should count towards my English grade" train

Sorry if the last chapter was confusing, bc I think some ppl didn't read that the last chapter came before the John angst chapter. I wrote it in the beginning but I get it.

The Schuylers haven't said a word to me since the dance. Neither have Lafayette, Hercules, or Aaron. They haven't even glanced at me, atleast, I think they haven't. If they have, it was probably something close to a death glare. Maybe it's for the best I didn't look their way for a while. I honestly didn't think that they would get that upset about it, I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. The whole point of pretending to date John was so that they could be happy.

Looks like operation Lams didn't exactly work out.

I've even thought about resigning from the play. Maria told me that I shouldn't, but I don't know if she's someone worth taking advice from. But then again, I'm the lead role, and people would probably hate me even more if I just resigned without any further notice. And more people being mad at me is the last thing I need right now.

The school decided to push the play back a few weeks knowing that the actors weren't exactly prepared as they had been focusing on the dance. I don't know why they wouldn't have thought of that in advance.

I thought that John would've been here one of these days, we've had to skip some of the songs because of his 'break'. People had been freaking out about the play even more because of his sudden absence. I wasn't surprised when he was gone the day after the dance, he seemed uneasy, like something was wrong. But it didn't make sense why he would be gone this long. I prayed every day that when I walked into school, I would see his star like freckles and charming eyes that would light up the whole school ground. But every day I continued to loose more and more hope as I never saw him.

Every day felt more and more lonely then the last.

Alex - Should I just give up on him?
Thomas - Dude, he's probably just on vacation or something.
Alex - No, he would've told me! He's been gone for two weeks, don't you think one of the principal or one of the teachers would know! Something was wrong at the dance, I know it!
James - I think you should just calm down.
Alex - I AM CALM!!!
John (Adams) - Bastard!
Alex - SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHER-

---

Before I knew it, I was being thrown into Mr. Washingtons homeroom. The bright and colorful signs hanging around the room seemed to scream encouraging messages to me. But I never listened to them. No ever listened to them. And I think the teachers knew that, they just didn't want to admit it. All of them except for Mr.Washington.

George - Do you know why you're here today son?
Alex - Yes, and don't call me son.
George - I see you had some of that mouth towards Mr. Adams this afternoon huh?
Alex - Are you gonna give me detention or what?
George - No.
Alex - No?
George - No.
Alex - What about suspending me? Lower my grades? Not take me on that boring field trip? Kick me out of the play? Force me to run the mile?
George - I won't be doing anything of the sort.
Alex - Oh...
George - Seems you're pretty anxious to skip a little school somehow.
Alex - It's not that.
George - Be honest with me Alexander, it's about a certain John Laurens, isn't it?
Alex - What? N-no!
George - I'm one of the head teachers here, and trust me, you don't know how much drama goes around in the teachers lounge. I've seen and heard your entire story with him.
Alex - What?
George - Teachers have told me how your work hasn't been anywhere near improving lately and it's starting to effect your grades. From the time I've seen you this week, I can see that you seem nervous, scared, and angry. Does it happen to have anything to do with him?
Alex - Maybe a little.
George - Yeah, well, he just needs some time to process the new colors around him. It took me a few days when I was a kid.
Alex - New colors?
George - His mom called in today and said that he had found his soulmate on the night of the dance. I thought you already knew.
Alex - I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA!!!
George - Language.
Alex - Fricking.
George - That's better.

---

Thomas - Didn't Gwash give you detention?
Alex - Nope, he just let me go.
James - Without a warning or anything?
Alex - Nope.
Thomas - So what are you gonna do?
Alex - Isn't it obvious? I'm going to Johns house.
James - Are you sure that's a good idea?
Alex - Like I said, I don't care. Even if he punches me in the eye and tells me to go fuck my self, atleast I'd know that he's alive.

The school bell that I had been waiting for all day had finally rang. Students piled out of the school as fast as a fanfiction writer when they hear the name of their OTP. I had no rush to go anywhere though. People all around me were complaining about how much homework they had. And I did have homework, but I wasn't gonna do it.

As soon as I got to my street, I waved goodbye to Thomas and James. I don't know if I would really call the two my friends. They were just people that tolerated me in a time where it seemed like the whole world was against me. As soon as my eyes met the front of Johns house, I ran as fast as a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August.

Yeah I make spongebob references get on my level

I know I said I wasn't in a rush, but the sooner I saw John, the sooner I could get on with fixing this whole mess once and for all.

Instead of seeing Johns freckled face at the door, I saw the sight of his mom. She looked terrible, like she had been crying all day. Her eyes were red and some of her make up had obviously washed off from the water of her tears. Her hands flew to her mouth when she saw me at the door. Almost as if the sight of me made her cry harder than she had already been.

Alex - Hi...is John here?
Mom - Oh honey, you haven't heard.
Alex - Heard what?

"John....he took his own life."