Love Games

Elijah

"People say you don't know what you have until it's gone. Honestly, I think you always know what you have, you just never thought you'd lose it. And that's where most people mess up at."

I was already late to this "Relationship 101" for my girlfriend, Mailan. As I walk in, I quickly look around the room, trying to find her so I can take my seat.

We've been having problems for a while now. After being with her for 6 years, I can tell when she's keeping something from me. I'm not one to waste my time with someone who isn't going to be upfront with me. I have a gut feeling and usually, I'm never wrong when I feel it.

Since that gut feeling continuously comes back, I try to distance myself from her. I still love her but not in love with her anymore. I don't want to break it off with her just yet though, I want to find out what she isn't telling me.

If it's nothing major, then we have no worries and we can work on our relationship until we get back to where we once were. If it's major, I don't know what I'd do. I know I'd have to break up with her, but it certainly won't be easy.

"Mr. Carson, what do you think?" Asked the counselor.

"I think that I wanna leave this place. It's bullshit anyway." I shrugged.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Mailan getting irritated because of my response.

As the counselor continues her lesson to the other students, I whisper to Mailan telling her to meet me in the hallway. I can already tell where this conversation is going, but I kept my thoughts to myself. Something I rarely did, especially nowadays.

As we're leaving to go into the hallway, the counselor stops me and started to speak to me.

"Maybe when you guys come back next time we can discuss your issues with Mailan and her issues with you?"

"Sure, if I come back.", I responded.

After that, Mailan and I proceeded to make our way into the hallway.

"Why can't you be cooperative for once? I know we've been having issues. That's why I signed us up for this!" She yelled. "You think I wanna see this relationship fail? If there's a problem, you fix it. You don't let it burn to pieces without trying all your options first! I'm starting to feel like you don't want this as much as I do...."

After hearing the stupidity that just came out her mouth, I try to hold back my anger but once again, this is something I rarely did. Was she really preachin' to me about "saving our relationship" when she's the one being dishonest?

Without trust, we have nothing. Everyday I'm asking her if there's something she has to tell me or if there's anything she'd like to come forward with but she can't even give me a direct answer.

She's always trying to change the subject, looking everywhere else but me, or trippin' over her words when I ask her those questions. If you ask me, she just sits in my face and lies straight through her teeth. But she has the nerve to talk to me about saving our damn relationship? She can't be fucking serious.

"Look man, you feel how you decide to feel. Either you leave or you stay. At this point I honestly don't even give a shit. But if you stay, stop wasting my damn time. I'm not going to keep coming to these meetings every Friday. I have better things to be doing with my time."

I knew my words were harsh, but at this point I didn't care. After saying what I had to say, I decided to leave. I didn't feel like wasting anymore of my time. I know I don't have actual evidence of her lying to me. But something doesn't feel right anymore. I've been with this girl for too damn long to know when she is and isn't lying.

While I was driving, I had the radio playing at a low volume but the song that was playing caught my attention. When I turned it up, I heard Mailan's favorite song.

-Flashback-

We were on our way to prom. Graduation was our next and final thing we had to do for high school. Then we were done and we can finally start our life together.

"Cross my heart, hope to die To my lover, I'd never lie. He said "be true", I swear I'll try, In the end,it's him and I. He's out his head, I'm out my mind. We got that love, the crazy kind. I am his and he is mine. In the end, it's him and I."

As I watched her sing the song, she stared right back at me. I couldn't believe that I was going to marry her someday. This girl had my heart and there was no doubt that I'd do anything for her.

I'd lose something of great value if it meant she was happy. I know it has been only 4 years and for some, that's still a little too soon to feel what I feel but, I can't imagine life without her. I Love Her.

-End of Flashback-

I shook my head and turned the radio to a different station. At this point I was feeling all these emotions run through me but at the same time I felt nothing. I'm just trying to figure out where everything went wrong.

We were perfect, then everything crumbled to pieces. I married the girl of my dreams but, after a while, she changed. I want us to go back to how everything was in the beginning. No lies, no secrets.
After driving around aimlessly for about 3 hours, I decided to go home.

As soon as I walked in the door, I heard Mailan rush to get off the phone with someone. Normally I'd ask who was on the phone but at this point I didn't care. The truth will come out in the end. What's done in the dark, always comes to light. I didn't bother speaking to her any more than I needed to.

"Where have you been? I haven't heard from you for hours." , Mailan said clearly irritated.

Why does she have to go over the top with everything? I'm not bothering her in any way. I stay out her way and she needs to stay out of mine.

"Mindin' my business dude." I said as I continued to walk into our room and of course she follows me.

" Eli just..."

"My name is Elijah." I said cutting her off before she could continue.

"Fine, Elijah. Is there something you would like to tell me? Is there a reason you think it's ok to come home at all hours of the night?", She yelled.

"Get out my face with that dude. You're not my mother, I can come home when I want to fucking come home!" I yelled back.

All she has to do is come forward with whatever she's hiding from me. This could be so simple but she has to make it so complicated. Just like she does with everything else. This girl stubbed her toe the other day and was damn near about to pass out.

But it's ok though. She wants to be secretive, we can do that. Now, I'm not the kind of person to cheat or anything like that, no matter how bad things are/get, but I can and will make her think I am.

She knew how I felt at the beginning of our relationship about secretivity. I was once told that if you play with fire you're going to get burned. She'll get what she deserves.

Two can play at that game.