david + liza ; just friends

chapter 15; mistakable

David's POV;

I see Liza walk out of the house.
I've officially fucked up.
"Dude..." Scott touches my shoulder and I flinch back.
"Leave me alone." I say and I walk out of the house.

**
I open the front door to my house to find an empty home. I have no idea where everyone is nor do I care.

I walk over to the mirror and look at myself.
"Are you fucking dumb?"
Why.
Why the hell would I overreact like
that. I'm an idiot. She doesn't like me, I know it. Well, nice going.
I can hear my phone buzzing over and over again, it's the people from the party.
I dress black,
I act cool,
I talk to girls,
I hang out with lots of people but the one time something pure and real comes into my life I fuck it up.
She's perfect.
But for some reason I can't admit that I like her,
I can't admit that whenever I wake up she's the first person I think about.
I can't admit that whenever I get a text from her, I smile like I never have before.
She's probably thinking,
what a dick.
and she's right.
She deserved none of that,
god damn it David. I've never felt like this before and one small mistake. The first time I saw her I knew she was the one, for sure I knew.
I sit on the couch and sink into it. I grab my phone and open iMessage, click Liza's name and type,
-I'm a dick, I'm sorry- , then erase it. I can't say anything to her right now, maybe later. Or never.
I start thinking about her.
Her aroma,
Her face,
Her hair,
Her eyes, Oh her eyes.
Her humour,
Her personality,
Her.
"Stop!" I say that out loud.
I walk into my room and look on my dresser. It's the camera equipment that Liza bought me.
She's too perfect,
for me.

I've known her for a little over a week and I'm already hurt,
I'm hurt because she'll never know how I feel, and she'll never feel the same way. Ever since I was young all I wanted was a girlfriend, I didn't want an Xbox or a new bike. I wanted a girlfriend, yeah sure I've had some but none of them felt like it was real. Liza has made my life better in so many ways it's ridiculous.

I walk into my room and lay down on my bed. I look to my side table and see my camera, I turn it on and look through the I footage.
As I'm looking through I stop,
the first time I hung out with Liza;

She said,
"What are you filming?"
"Nothing really I just like to record cool things." I said.
"Is that why you're filming me?" She said.
"Maybe." I said back.

See David! Why couldn't you just tell her sooner! It would've been way easier!

I act like a douche *correction, I am a douche and what does it do for me? Make me seem cooler? Make me look more macho?
When I'm with Liza, I don't know how to explain it but it just feels different.
I need to get her off my mind.

I change into a pair of Nike shorts, a
t-shirt, I put on my running shoes and run out the door.
As I'm running I feel calm. I clear my mind and just run.
I guess running works, I have so something to do so I don't think about anything.
I can feel my heart beating.
My breathing is steady.
My legs and arms are moving forwards and back and I'm feeling replenished.

I run for while and run into a neighborhood I recognize but don't know exactly where it is.
I look around and stop running.
I've seen all these houses before but can't remember how or why.
I turn around to the house behind me and it all comes back.

This is Liza's neighborhood.
How could I have done this?!
I grunt in frustration,
but I'm still curious as where she went and how she's doing.
I move a little closer to the house and try to look in but i stop myself. Why do i care? Seriously seems like she doesn't so why should I? I should stop getting mad at her, its my fault. seems like every time its my fault.

ugh I need to stop, stop everything.

stop showing that i like her. stop thinking, mostly about her.

wow, she, her, Liza. i should stop saying those words.

i never thought that you could get mad at your own self, but i guess you can you really can, a lot. Why do i do this, why do i let people get close to me ? it always turns to shit, so why do i try? I try to say me and Liza are just friends, but its just so hard.

I want her to know but she can't.

Liza, i don't want to be just friends.

i would like to apologize for the lack of activity, im really sorry! i've been really busy but im going to try my best to update as much as i can. ;)