FEELINGS IN MADNESS...a Journey In Song

Suicide

-SUICIDE IS PAINLESS...
(you don't even notice the journey)

It was more then I could take. I had let everyone down. My friends, my family ,myself. Its better this way I know. I cant go on hurting the ones I love. Even tho its true they probably never loved 
me back. I have another semester of being bulling and picked on at school. My girlfriend broke up with me, she said I was just to weird. I am failing in all my classes. My parents would be so much better off without me. Without the extra mouth to feed. All 
im doing is taking and I cant even give anything back. Im so alone, I have no friends, nobody likes me anyway. Im going to do it..i cant stand this pain and hurt in my heart any longer. And nobody even notices im falling so far. Its because they just don't 
care. Im useless anyway. Tomorrow after school ill go down to the woods and take those pills with me..ill take the whole bottle..ill cut my wrists also just to make sure..yes..im going to do it...
later that day...
I feel really calm. I haven't felt this calm in so many years. I wish I would have decided to commit suicide before. At least ill have one day of peace. Tomorrow I wont have to burden anyone any 
longer. He walks thru the rest of the day very calm. At rest with himself. He has made up his mind. A kind of calm does come over someone once they have decided that killing themselves is the best way. They no longer need to think on it. They 
have made up their mind. They have a plan. At this point there's little anyone can do to prevent the suicide or attempt. The next day comes and the bully didnt even bother him when he was picked on. The last bell rang and he went to his locker and got the 
pills he had stolen from his parents medicine cabinet. A full bottle of tranquilizer. And half a bottle of Valium. He smiles to himself and walks off the campus into the woods. He doesn't feel any remorse as he takes the whole bottle of pills. He only smiles 
to himself and turns his i Pod on. An hour goes by and he has passed out. Two boys that had gone into the woods after school to smoke a joint came upon his lifeless body.. wrists cut...They called 911 and an ambulance was dispached. They got to him within 
minutes. They rushed him to the hospital and pumped his stomach then put him on oxygen. He was monitored and placed into ICU for careful observation..He was in a coma for 3 days. He woke confused. Angry. He started screaming “no no no it cant be..im dead im 
dead...no” as the tears fall. Now all the pain he felt came rushing back. All the loneliness and tears and heart ache and pain..It all came rushing back..he just layed there sobbing “its not fair..Its not fair. why did you save me you 
should have let me die”
A person that is contemplating taking their life is at a place very few ever get to. They are at a place that they feel nobody else could understand. Something has pushed that person 
beyond what they can handle. They cannot cope with it and the thought of enduring more of what put them in that emotional state is something that they just cannot tolerate. The suicide rate in this country for teens and young adults is staggering. 1 out of 
every 8 kids commits suicide in the U.S. Each year. And if you count in the attempts..that number is even higher.
There are many reasons why teens and young adults commit suicide at such an alarming rate. Parents are to busy to notice them crying themselves to sleep every night, Friends are to worried 
about what they are wearing and how they look to notice that fake smile. But her eyes tell all..They are blank, empty and hold no life. You would think that someone would notice and try to help. With each passing hour that nobody reaches out to her..she gets 
closer to that moment of desperation when she hangs herself or takes that bottle of pills or cuts her wrists..then hangs herself .

* 
The reasons are many that could lead a person to that point. Bullying is a problem in this country and that alone causes many young to take 
their lives rather then endure it longer. When your young you don't have the coping skills needed to deal with overwhelming negative actions. Your more prone to take something personally, to be victimized by that coward bully. And you go to your parents and 
tell them you have a problem. Your dad tells you be a man..don't let that bully push you around..just hit him..Im glad we had this talk son..not let me finish watching my program”