Vampire Hunter: Corey Crowgarden's guide to killing vampires for fun and profit.

Lesson 3

I know I said I would tell you about Zombies, but honestly, they aren't so fascinating. It kind of  comes on gradual, especially if Lord Whats it is the only mind scrubber you have to deal with, but if your own personal nightmare is a mind bleacher too, well, that's going to go pretty badly.
Think of your memory like an old cassette tape. Wait, you probably don't know what that is. Go google it.
Alright, imagine your memory is like that tape, written on, scrubbed, written on, scrubbed, written on, backed up, viewed, fast forward, watched, backed up, watched, scrubbed. For a system that wasn't meant for anything more than the written on part, well, it doesn't take long for it to loosen. Like when the cassette starts to become unwound and you need to tighten it with a pencil.
Okay, google that one too.
Once it starts to loosen it's hard to tighten. Once it flips and twists and knots itself...You're done, but you aren't done. You're still breathing. The funny thing, well terrible thing, nothing you read here is funny, the terrible thing is that when you feed the vampire it also feeds you, but not the same way. So once your brain is gone and your body forgets how to function you die, right?
You wish, but you can't wish, you don't really have the capacity to wish anymore. The act of them feeding on you and you getting a weensie bit of their blood while they take your blood, backwash, if you will, keeps you alive. After you've forgotten your friends, your name, the ability to feed yourself, the ability to breath, and eventually the ability to live.
So an animated corpse, but not so animated and articulate as the vampire. They are usually held on the farm until they're completely useless and then Lord Whats it will buy them back and I'm not sure what happens to them, but I have a few guesses, and it rhymes with soylent green.
Unless they have a necromancer. Once the tape in their head is tangled that is pretty much the game. Stand and sway, that is about all they can do, but a necromancer, they have the ability to unwind the tape, snip out the snarl and start to record again. Sure it's too late then for any memory functions, and not likely still alive, so no use as a blood bag, but you can write some kind of code and make them useful for something more than hamburger helper.

sent from my Iphone