We Were Meant To Fly

Ch. 10- My One, Dark Secret

I woke up in Nathan’s arms and being held to his chest. I was beyond comfortable. I looked at the clock and saw that it was seven. We had gone to bed early last night, so I wasn’t tired. I realized that I was still in my clothes from yesterday. Then the night before came back to me and I began to ponder. I had three theories:

1. He said he loved me thinking I was asleep and wouldn’t hear

2. He said he loved me and fully realized I was awake

3. I had dreamt the whole thing

It wasn’t that I wasn’t ready to say I love you. It’s that I wasn’t sure on his point of view. Twenty minutes into pondering my theories Nathan whispered, “Morning beautiful,” into my ear. I rolled over and he kissed me. He just stared at me like I was missing something. Then it clicked.

“You want to know what happened last night,” I said more than asked. He nodded, “Nath, I want to tell you, but I don’t want what I’m about to say to change how you feel about me. It will though,” I finished looking at the comforter.

“Em, I,” he began, blushing and making me nervous enough to look up, “Em, I love you. No matter what you tell me it won’t change how I feel about you.”

“Nath, I love you too!” I was overflowing with happiness. He kissed me and pulled me into a hug. “I need one thing before I tell you though.”

“Anything.”

“After I tell you don’t do anything rash or stupid.”

“I promise,” after a few moments of silence he gave my hand an encouraging squeeze.

That squeeze gave me the courage to spill my deep dark secret, the one that no one outside of my mom knew, the one that I had a hard time dealing with. “You know how my dad walked out four years ago,” I started and so did the beginnings of the waterworks, “it wasn’t as sudden or unexpected as we made it sound. My dad-” I faltered on my words and Nathan kissed my cheek. “Nath, I’m going to come out and say it. My dad was abusive,” Nathan looked at me, shock crossing his face, “he was emotionally abusive from the time I was eight- well to me anyway. It was all directed at my mom before that. We couldn’t leave. When I was ten, it got worse. He would intimidate me and just spew hate everywhere he went. It was so bad he couldn’t hold a job. We were literally living month to month. When I was twelve, he pushed me up against the wall and my mom tried to stop him and he twisted her wrist behind her back and sprained it,” Nathan went from being shocked to pissed in less than a second, “it stopped for a while, but it got really bad right before he left. He hit my mom and I like punching bags. Then he grabbed his stuff one day and walked out. My mom and I just held each other and cried. No fight for custody, no hiring a lawyer that we couldn’t afford, it was abandonment. We still had each other though. We move frequently, though I doubt it’s an option now. Moving across the pond isn’t cheap,” I finished. Tears were now streaming down my face and a few stray ones were moving down Nathan’s.

"I'm going to..."

"Nath, nothing rash. You promised."

“How did it not get found out? How did you fake being okay for six years?”

“I put a smile on my face and played happy. You’d be surprised how good I am at it,” I answered and he pulled me closer to him.

“Don’t ever pretend to me,” he whispered in my ear.

“Hey guys-” Max started, then saw me crying and joined in on the hug.

“Max,” Siva said walking in, “GROUP HUG!” he shouted and we heard footsteps approaching. We were than dog piled on rather than hugged and I couldn’t help but laugh. The boys were like the older brothers I never had.

“Can’t… breathe…” Nathan said after a moment. The boys finally got off, but all stayed right by us.

“Em, are you okay?” Tom asked.

“Yeah,” I said smiling my ‘best’ smile. The boys looked concerned but left. Another Academe Award to me.  Nathan looked at me and growled. Yes, he growled at me and climbed on top of me. Then he began tickling the life out of me. “What are you doing this for?” I squealed.

“I told you not to pretend.”

“Nath, I told you because I love you. I love the boys too, but I don’t want to tell them, at least not yet.”

“Okay, fine,” he said and lay back down and put his arm around me. We stayed like that for a while then I looked at the clock. I jumped out of bed.

“Be right back,” I said, “got to not let my mom know I didn’t come home last night!” I sprinted down the stairs, past the boys, who were giving me what-the-bloody-hell looks, and into the hallway. I quietly opened the door and snuck to my room. I quickly changed and walked into the living room to find my mom in the kitchen.

“Want some breakfast?”

“I’ll just have a muffin,” I said grabbing one of the double chocolate ones, “I’m going over to the boys,” I said walking toward the door.

“Don’t you mean back to the boys?” My mom asked with a smirk. Crap. Mothers know all.