Chapter 28
I was in a bit of a dilemma and I didn't know what to do.
I picked up my phone once again reading the messages before I set it back on the top of the nightstand.
My phone had 'blown up'.
It was funny and confusing that after everything that had happened between Harp and I, and Jules and I, that we had anything to say to each other this soon.
Ok, I didn't.
Barely two days after everything, my phone couldn't stop ringing.
After nearly a hundred missed calls and two -very serious- text messages, I was in the dark about what to do. Harper had simply sent a message saying: I luv u. While Jules' had said: Am sory i actd lyk i did -i shudnt hav hit u. I kno u r goin thru stuff & didnt need me bein a bitch. I luv u. Pls call me.
I didn't feel like I deserved any one of them giving a shit about me, but apparently they did.
What could I possibly say? 'I luv u 2'? Of course I wanted to be forgiven and for everything to go back to normal; but the thing was, what exactly was normal?
I picked up the phone for the thousandth time and selected messages. I was actually going to do something this time around.
Create. A blank sms had never looked more threatening nor challenging.
Am sory abt wot i put u thru. I love u, but i messd up. I had been feelin thngs n i needed 2 kno if they were truly real. They were, but i still hurt u in the end. Theres thngs i feel 4 Harp that make me not thnk somtyms n look where th@ got me, us. I promise not to cheat again. Not bcoz am perfect or somthng now, but bcoz i'd realisd its u i luvd n i had ended thngs with Harp b4 theyd gottn outta hand. I hop u can trust me again.
Send.
I had told her all I had to say and if there was anything else to say, I would find the words when I saw her next.
Now for the heartbreak. I loved Harper very much, but he deserved better than the greedy part of my heart that wanted him without thinking of the consequences.
He was my best friend and what we had shared was special. I wasn't ever going to forget all the times he'd been there for me, but we just couldn't continue to have a close relationship anymore.
This isnt how i saw our r/ship end. I always thot it wud b me n u, 4eva. I thnk i led u on n am sory 4 using u lyk this. I cant deny wot i felt, but @ the back of my mind, i knew it wudnt wrk out. I bliev u will find some1 who will giv u their evrythng and luv u lyk u dserv. Am sory abt the baby, but i dont thnk i am in a position 2 keep it. I hop we can stil b frnds even if we arent as close as b4. Am not goin 2 find the thngs i found in u in any1 else, n am glad u r in my lyf. I luv u 2. But i cant b in luv with u. 4eva urs, XOXO_Charlie.
I'd done it; I'd let them know how I felt, and confessed my dirty doing.
I knew that things between Jules and I would mend quickly if she truly forgave me. But with Harper? I couldn't ever see myself being so care-free and with my guard down around him again.
The screen light came on as a new message icon appeared on the display.
It was a text from Julie.
I was afraid u didnt want 2 tok 2 me again. We shud meet n set thngs str8, u kno with the whol baby sich n evrythng. I'll b thea 4 u, n we cud discus the Harper thng if u want. I cant say much since JD is in class. I luv u:-P
I couldn't help but laugh. Mr. Cliverson aka JD as in Jack Daniels, was a drunkard who taught literature and had a habit of sending students off to detention for chewing gum, talking when not answering a question, passing notes, dosing or using their phones in his class. Talk about cranky drunk!
The phone buzzed again. Oh god! I knew it was Harper.
My hand trembled slightly as my thumb touched over the icon opening the message.
I cant stop luving u lyk th@ charlie. Mayb 2moro, or the day afta th@ i cud learn 2 deal with it , but i cant jus act lyk i dont hav these feelings ryt now. I get it u want 2 b with julie, its fyn with me, but i cant pretend n i told u b4 th@ i didnt care if u were with her bcoz it wudnt stop my heart frm luvin u. I wil respect th@ u r with her n i wont try 2 do anythng other than b ur frnd. But kno th@ my luv 4 u wil always b more than th@ of a frnd. As 4 the baby, our baby, i just hop somday we both find out wh@ it feels lyk 2 b given th@ chance again. Harp.
I didn't know how or why, but Harper just seemed to know how to get me into situations that made me feel like I didn't know what to do. He was like kryptonite or something of the sort to me. But too much kryptonite could eventually kill you.
With both fences now mend; I did not intend to sit on them anymore.
