Chapter 14
Hand in hand we made our way through the lesbo jungle trying to find a place we could just sit and drink something.
"This place is packed!" I yelled over the music.
"To the gills!" Julie replied as we snaked around scantily clad gyrating bodies.
Apparently, the club directly opened onto the dancefloor and everyone just seemed to be feeling like a dancer tonight. The disco lights were flashing everywhere like crazy and no good electronica music was playing -which meant that any Kelly, Nelly and Penny could get their shuffle on.
If you thought only men liked strippers; then you were dead wrong!
In this zone everyone appeared to be eager to see somebody get out of their clothes. We stopped and watched as a plus size kitten with redhair tipped a stripper and took off her panties flinging them directly towards us using the elastic band.
"That was an expert move!" I laughed as Julie dodged the runaway pantie.
"I've already had an eyeful!" Jules cringed pulling me away.
"We should head upstairs!" I said pointing at the less active balcony.
Julie held up both thumbs and we were on our way.
There was tonguing going on on the stairway, drunken barefoot boozing, and somebody gave me an a$$ grab that almost wasn't an a$$ grab anymore, ew.
When we finally made it to the top, it felt as good as conquering K2 or Everest. There was a second bar, a few empty booths and girls pouring alcohol on the other girls below on the dancefloor.
"That was no fun," I said leading her straight to the bar.
"I think somebody tried putting their hands under my panties," Jules said looking wonderfully violated.
"I know... and I'm wearing pants."
"Some people are just gross!" She said brushing away invisible germs from her thighs.
"ID please," the male bartender asked looking at us suspiciously.
"I'm afraid the only thing that's illegal here, is right between your legs," I said sliding him my ID and a wicked grin.
"Charlie!" Jules gasped laughing behind her hands.
"I'm not lying!" I protested pulling her closer to me.
"What will it be?" The bartender asked handing back my ID.
"Two bottles of coke and one vodka," I said fishing around my pocket for the notes.
"Let me get that," an extremely hot twenty-something year old chic said placing a hundred dollar bill note on the bar.
She was smokin'!
"Thanks," I said stuffing my money back in my pocket.
"Yo welcomed," she said before introducing herself. "I'm Rei." She said smiling at me and Julie. "And this is, Kiana," she said introducing her very unattractive partner.
If you've ever seen an unattractive Philippino tranny; then you know what I mean. There was no way Kiana was a girl.
"Hey," Jules said uneasily.
"Sit with us," Rei invited starting towards an empty booth.
What now? Julie mouthed, but all I could do was hand her the vodka bottle, our glasses and follow beauty and the beast.
"You two don't frequent here much do you?" Kiana asked in a ridiculously pitchy voice.
Bingo. It was a tranny passing off for a lesbo, which brought me back to Rei; did she also have hidden balls?
"Nope," I said once we had sitted down.
"Where do you guys hang out?" Rei asked signalling a waitress in a garter belt get up.
"At home?" Julie said uncertainly.
"Yeah, we don't go out much." Full stop. I had a weird feeling about the two posers.
"We come out here often." Rei stated putting a tip on the waitress's bra.
"We're veterans," Kiana put in.
It showed, she looked like she'd crawled through a mine field. Repeatedly.
"Newbies!" I said mixing the drinks for Julie and I, and making sure that she got more soda than vodka.
It wasn't a real exciting time watching Kiana and Rei take shots of luminous drinks and kiss like 2012 was really the end of the world.
"Wanna dance?" I asked Julie placing my drink on the table.
"I thought you'd never ask," she said getting up quickly.
Once in the safety of the dancefloor we got down to discussing the peculiar duo.
"I don't like those two," I said flatly.
"Me neither," Julie said wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. "Let's forget them and dance. This is our first dance together." She said getting down to business.
When we got back to the booth, the veterans were still there and Rei was leaning on Kiana.
"Did you enjoy your dance?" Rei asked smiling weakly.
"It was great," I said trying to signal the waitress.
"How much do you want to drink?" Kiana asked.
"I don't trust a desserted bottle," I replied.
"We were here all the time," she replied.
"Fine," I said pouring an equal amount of both drinks for Jules this time. "I'm driving," I said sitting back.
I knew they had planned to either screw us or screw with us when Jules suddenly became too drunk, or should I say drugged?
She was a feather-weight but this was pure drugging from the way she was slumping and her eyes couldn't remain open.
"What the f*ck did you put in our drinks?" I asked spilling the vodka all over their expensive clothes.
"You c*nt!" Rei shrieked.
"Shut your face b*tch. Were you going to rape us or something?" I asked throwing the peanut bowl at Kiana.
"Your b*tch is a drunk!" Kiana screamed getting up and ready for war. "We can take you you butch mutt!"
"You aren't even a girl!" I yelled as Rei came right at me and Kiana started pulling Jules away.
WTF? My options were limited. Reaching into my boot I pulled out my Swizz knife. "You don't want to f*ck with me," I said swiping the knife towards Rei who immediately backed off.
I grabbed Julie and got out fast.
Phew!
