Why is it easier to say "I love U2" "I love pizza!", "I love Jay Leno", "I love weed", than to say; I love... myself?
Chapter 7
<I'm tired of sitting round this effing bornefire> I sent the text message to Jules.
All around there were drunk kids acting even more stupidly than they usually did, and I could already see some idiots throwing up.
<Me too! There are bugs and shit here> She replied.
<Let's make our own party...> I texted back throwing my empty bottle in the general direction of the ocean.
<How?>
<Meet me at the lifeguard tower>
<Ok>
I picked another bottle from a cooler and unscrewed it watching as Aubrey Higgins' marshmallow caught fire. I didn't know what he was doing out here tonight, but I guess it beat online chess.
I started towards the rendezvous point stumbling in my flipflops over littered bottles, strewn clothes, sprawled limbs and restless bodies suspiciously rocking under beach towels.
If I could say one thing about beach parties; it would probably be that it's a lame excuse for pollution, bad sex and binge drinking.
As I neared the tower, I checked around to make sure no one was watching or hovering around doing who knows what or who.
I could see a small red light a little way off in the distance from Jules' cigarette and walked towards her.
"You see, the beach party was a waste of time just like I told you," I said wrapping my arms around her towel wrapped body from behind.
"I think the Easton crowd is just plain boring. The last time East Vale had a party -it was a party actually worth attending. Maybe they'll be more fun in college," she said tossing her cigarette to the wind.
"I'm afraid that if you're boring; you're boring until the day you die."
"I doubt that that quote is by Plato or Socrates or anyone of that class," she said laughing and turning to face me.
"Nope, that was all me," I said taking the last gulp of beer before tossing the bottle down.
"I passed Harper in the hallway this morning and he didn't even say hi," Jules said woundedly.
"Don't mind him, he was probably preoccupied with something and didn't notice you," and pigs fly. "He sometimes just locks himself up in this artistic world of his with nothing but his muses," I lied smoothly.
"He shouldn't be that serious with life or he'll end up an old mutt!"
"He's already a sick puppy," I said unwrapping the towel from around her and spreading it on the sand.
"I didn't say it before, but your butterfly tattoo is gorgeous," she said sitting next to me on the towel.
"Thanks."
"What's your fascination with them?"
"I don't know why, but for me, butterflies represent pure beauty and freedom."
"I've never heard anything so simple make such sense," she said pushing my hair from my face and leaning in to kiss me.
I turned towards her allowing her to kiss me fully on the lips.
I felt my whole body tingle with excitement as she pushed me down and pressed her body to mine.
She had suddenly gone wild, and it was infectious as I returned her hungry kisses.
Her lips trailed down my neck slowly as my fingers caressed her smooth exposed back.
"We should slow down," I managed to murmur as she placed a kiss on my tattoo next to my naval. "Somebody might find us."
"Let's go to my place," she said sitting on her heels.
I knew what that meant; she wanted us to go all the way together.
"I've never done this before Jules. I think I'm scared," I said sitting up as well.
"It's ok if you're not ready, really. It's a big step and we can wait as long as you want," she said taking hold of my hand.
"I'm ready to take that step, I want to take that step; it's just that I don't know how to let anyone in like that."
"I love you, do you believe that?"
"Yeah, I love you too," I said feeling a strange joy bubble inside me as I finally said the words.
"Then you should know that I don't ever want to see you get hurt. That first person you're ever with, and everyone after that, they take little pieces of you. I'll take a piece of you you'll never get back, and you'll take a piece of me too. It's actually more complicated than people let on."
I appreciated her honesty, and the fact that she didn't mindlessly put her needs before mine.
"I trust you and that's the biggest thing that makes me love you: knowing that you care, that you're honest, and that I mean a lot to you. That's why I want you to make love to me, maybe you can show me what's inside me."
The drive back to Julie's house was a blur. All I could think of was her making love to me and how perfect it would be.
It was probably almost two in the morning when we reached her house. Her parents had gone to Mexico for a retreat, and the live-in was at her servant's quarters.
"I finally have you to myself," Jules said locking the bedroom door.
We started kissing again and quickly removed the shirts we were wearing over our suits.
"Oh my gosh," I groaned as Jules' fingers started touching me.
I untied her bikini top looking at her exposed breasts as she also pulled my bandeaux over my head.
We collapsed onto the bed a mass of tangling limbs as she took my breasts into her mouth sucking almost painfully.
While I was still reeling from the flare of pleasure, she tugged my shorts off and we started rubbing against each other as we kissed, and a new need for completion came over me.
As if sensing my rising heat, she moved between my legs and before I could say no, I was saying yes. It was strange and yet so intimate that all I could do was just enjoy the feeling.
