Blue Bloods

Chapter 9

There was a dreadful silence as Carston and I looked at each other. A part of me prayed that the child wasn’t his and the other part wished it was. Then I could leave and never come back. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I don’t feel welcome.

“Let’s go sit down in the lounge.” He said, taking my limp hand and pulling me down the various halls and down my favourite one with the floor to ceiling windows. The snow was falling again, I wanted to shiver, but inside it was warm as his hand was doing its usual warming trick.

I sat next to him, while he held my hands, our knees touching. I didn’t have the power to pull my knee away. I was expecting the worst.

“The baby’s not mine Clover.” He said with a smile.

Why would he smile in this situation? Again, I was fuming!

“Amy has a mate, unfortunately he died a few months back during a fight. Amy, myself and Ashton used to be best friends while we were growing up. That’s why  I care for her. I can’t throw her to the wolves.”

A part of me crumbled away. The thought of losing Carston sank in and I wanted to cry. I can’t lose him! I need to fight for him.

“Amy only have a few months to live.” His smile faded and I felt the immense sadness through our bond.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Why didn’t you just tell me that before, instead of keeping it from me?” I said back.

It turns out that I’m the bad sheep in this situation. Why is there no communication between us? Do I need to sniff everything out?

“Because I haven’t had the time to tell you.” He said with a harsh tone.

“Just like you don’t have time for me? Everything has to go your way! Your way or there will be fights. Just like now. I won’t live my life according to your schedule. Relationships is suppose to be give and take, sacrificing.” I said and swallowed. “I won’t be the only one who sacrifices.”

“I didn’t say you should sacrifice! I only told you to listen to me.” His tone of voice rose.

“I won’t keep quite! This is my life, we’re suppose to live together and be happy. The two of us. Not the two of us, your brother and some woman who’s dying and have a baby!” I immediately knew I was wrong.

My words were harsh and I didn’t mean it. He doesn’t understand how I feel about everything.

“I don’t mean it.” I said softly.

“You do!” He stood up, standing in front of me.

I had to look up at him. That made me feel inferior.

“I just want the two of us! Not your family and friends and a baby who’s using our future babies furniture!” I yelled.

I lost my cool. I lost the fight. My dad always taught me that the one who yells first, loses the fight.

“You’re being childish! That’s an innocent baby sleeping there! And so selfish!” He spat. “You can’t just have me for your own. The pack needs me, I can’t be with you 24/7!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that!” I said with tears in my eyes.

My wolf was cowering. I was sad and felt like walking out of the front door and never coming back. What’s the use of staying and enduring this treatment?

He had a change of behaviour.

“I’m sorry...” He wanted to circle his arms around me, but I avoided it and stepped backwards.