The Struggle Is Real

♤eleven : naming♤

♤eleven : naming♤

Marilyn Mersley. What a weird thing that the name fit... it must have been meant to be. So much for my old name---Berger, Marilyn Berger. With some new clothes, a new iPhone, and a brand new backpack and supplies, I walked slowly down the tiny halls of my new private school in New Baltimore. It was so small compared to my old school where there were over 2,000 kids just in my grade. I stumbled over a trash can, its bright letters nagging me. Pulling myself back to reality, I realized the principal would have truly made an amazing tour guide.... she rambled on and on and on. Either way, I wasn't paying attention to anything she was saying. Students walked by and stared me down as if I was an escaped prisoner. I caught the principals last words out of the everlasting sermon "...The students are sure to make you feel welcome, don't you worry!"

Ha! Yeah right. She seemed sure, but I didn't really think so. Every single place I went, people were staring at me like I was a murderer.

Like, what did I do to you? God...

I asked her if we were aloud to use our phones at lunch. All I wanted to do was call my best friend. I had her number memorized since we both got a phone. We got the same phone, but hers blue, and mine white of course! That reminded me once more of how it was gone, too. Our friendship would never expire, but the twinning phones we shared were gone. On Instagram, I saw she got a new phone. She doesn't want to be reminded of me... I remember thinking. Snapping back to reality, the principal assured me with a quick-'of course,'and that their technology standpoint was of highest excellence in the state, and after that I stopped listening again. It wasn't worth listening to. I sent a pleading look to a strawberry blonde guy who was standing by the drinking fountain. He laughed silently, like I had done for years. My best friend always told me that my laugh was one of my best traits. I didn't think I would laugh ever again. My old life was full of laughter, friends, and running around yelling and screaming our heads off. My many friends and I had so much fun. None of us really cared what anyone else said or thought. I realized that I had become self conscious. Once again, I snapped back into the present. The guy mimicked the principal from behind her back, like a young child. "You'll have to excuse me Principal, uhm, Norrington. I believe class is about to start. I would regret being late on my first day, thank you for the tour, it was absolutely grand." The guy winked at me and we shared a smile. Maybe I wouldn't be alone after all.