Flame of A Shinobi

(6- What's reality?)

When I opened my eyes, Everything was much different. The air had changed. But Kakashi was still there, his hand in mine despite being fast asleep. There was no way he was comfortable like that. I reach my free hand forward and reach to ruffle his hair, but pull back. He was sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake him up. "I wonder how you really feel, Kakashi. You seem like the type of person to keep everything inside and hide it from everyone else. I can't get a read on you. No matter what happens. I am here for you, Kakashi," I whisper softly as I watch him sleep. A flutter of movement in my eye reveals Kurenai making her way through the tent flap. She glanced at Kakashi to my right and shoots me a worried smile. "He hasn't left this room since we got here. Are you feeling alright?" She asks me with concern. I nod once and grimace. "Still in pain thought. How long have I been out?" I ask her.

Kurenai gives me a complicated look. "About three days give or take. It was bad. They had to do surgery when they got there. You were dying." Kurenai tells me. She glances at the sleeping Kakashi. "He was devastated. I haven't seen him this torn up in a really long time.  I honestly thinks he likes you. He has never been like this before, so maybe he thinks you are special. By the way, when you are able to travel, we will be heading back to the leaf. We have taken enough hospitality from the grass ninja here," Kurenai says quietly as she walks back to the door. I nod silently and lay back down, hoping to get things sorted out in my head. After a few minutes of just staring at Kakashi's sleeping face, he began to stir. I quickly shut my eyes, embarrassed that me may catch me looking at him. Keeping very still, I wait a few  minutes before feeling a hand touch my cheek. It was a gentle gesture, as if he was unsure of himself. A soft brush of his fingers across my cheek caused my eyes to involuntarily flutter open.

My eyes instantly met his, heat in my gaze as I met his smile with one of my own. "There must me something wrong with me. I keep telling myself that you are off limits but it seems my heart won't listen," I whisper softly. A tender look meets his eye, sending a tingle throughout my body. He lets out a small sigh. "Are you going to be okay?" He asks me quietly. I nod and try not to think of the kiss. I was going to get hurt if I kept feeling like this. I had no idea what I was even doing anymore. My heart wouldn't be able to handle it if I got hurt, I just knew somehow. This man had the power to hurt me in ways I could never imagine. And I was just giving that power to him. I shook my head slightly to clear my thoughts.

"The pain is mostly gone by now. I feel stiff though. Can you help me up, Kakashi?" I ask him. He looks alarmed. "Take it easy, you got shish-kebabed pretty good there. Your liver was all but destroyed," Kakashi states, worry in his voice. I shake my head. "I can't just stay in bed Kakashi. I need to get up. My feet are asleep from being in bed too long. Please, help me get out of bed," I ask him softly. Finally, he nods his head and removes one of the rails, helping me put my nearly dead feet on the ground. I groan softly in pain as the feeling vibrates back up from my toes to my knees. Kakashi stops and glances down. "I'm okay, just very numb," I tell him before he can ask. He nods once and lifts me slightly to a standing position. Leaning heavily on him, I take one step forwards and stop to adjust to the feeling of my feet beneath me once again. I let out a deep breath and continue walking, hoping to alleviate the numb feeling in my limbs. Kakashi carefully guides me to the door. I pause before I push my way out, determined to see daylight once again.

The first thing I see is a row of tents after getting used to the glare of the sunlight. A body moves into my line of sight and I glance up to see Asuma in front of me, an excited look on his face. "You're alive at last! Glad to see mother hen didn't keep you in bed," he jokes, ruffling my hair softly. I look down in embarrassment. "Nope. I convinced him to let me outside. What's the situation?" I ask him looking up at Kakashi. Asuma clears his throat before placing a cigarette in him mouth. "Lord third, my father has already send reinforcements. They have taken over our post. We leave whenever you are ready to travel, Shizuka. No rush though," He tells me, playing with his lighter. I nod and let out a relieved breath. "By the way, Good job. I heard there were 8 ninja total and you took out five of them on your own. All of them were either Jonin or Anbu from the hidden rain. You were lucky to take down as many as you did without dying." Asuma says admirably. I blush a little and hide my face. "I just wanted to keep them off of my comrade. It was a really hard fight," I tell him honestly.

Kakashi lets out a sign beside me. "You took unnecessary risks and were almost kill in the process. You are very lucky you aren't dead right now. And If I hadn't been nearby, you would be right at this very minute," Kakashi nearly growled. I freeze and look up to see the haunted look in his eye. He was obviously worried about me, which should have been a gift. But I hadn't had anyone to worry about me since I was young, and I wasn't sure what to make of it.

Time passed rapidly. Because I was still healing I got tired pretty quickly. "We leave tomorrow. Are you sure you are up to  it, Zuka?" Kurenai asks, using the nickname she had recently given me. I let out a little sigh and look her in the eyes. "I just want to go home and train some more. My discipline must be severely lacking," I tell her. 'And also I will have access to a cold shower which I probably need the most right now.' I tell myself secretly as I reflect once again about that kiss. I didn't know one person could make me react that way. I had never crushed on anyone before. I didn't want to feel what mom felt. It scared me. However, there was no denying I couldn't get him out of my head. And I hated myself for it at times. What is reality? Was any of this even real?

I wonder when I will wake from this sweet dream. I was an all or nothing kind of person and I didn't know if he could handle that. Everything was a mass of impossible. He was stuck in my head, the kiss playing on repeat, like a broken record. Was is a bad thing that I wanted another? That I was addicted to the taste of him? No... this reality would be the end of me. What is reality? Is it a dream you make your own? Or is it a lie that becomes the truth the more you tell it, just to convince yourself. Was I delusional? My thoughts snapped back to the present when Kakashi entered my line of sight. He sits a plate of food down next to me and sits opposite of me. "Eat," He commands. That one single word sends a shiver down my spine. I suddenly realize how hungry I am and finish the plate before I know it. Letting out a breath, I look at my two comrades. "Thank you both for helping me. I will be ready to leave tomorrow as long as we take it slow," I tell them, laying back down.

Sleeping was beginning to feel like a nasty habit for me and I didn't really like it. There was nothing I could do about it now, though. When I got back home, I was going to train all of the frustrations out of me. It would take a while, but I was going to perfect my techniques in a way that would my shortcomings less noticeable. All I wanted was to be able to support my teammates. Being a lowly chunin didn't really help at all. I wanted to take the jonin exams soon. I closed my eyes and thought about that as I fell asleep.

(sorry this was so short guys! I have been slowly trying to catch up in shippuden. currently on episode 346 and I am aiming to finish the series soon. hope you enjoyed the chapter.)