Flame of A Shinobi

(21- Anxiety)

I woke with a start, snapping to attention the moment my eyes opened. A cloud of anger passes on my face as I see Kakashi eyeing me warily from the foot of the bed, his eye never leaving my face. "What the hell, Kakashi?" I yell as I climb out of bed. Kakashi shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Shizuka. Hokage's orders. You are not to leave the house without supervision. This is a mission you CAN'T go on this time. We don't need your feelings getting in the way of your judgement. Lord Third will most likely be sending the most skilled ninjas we have to retrieve your brother, so you need to just rest and be patient until they return. He will be okay," Kakashi tells me as I look at him angrily.

I cast my eyes downwards. "So basically, I am useless and not needed. Thanks. I got the message perfectly," I mumble in despair. Kakashi uses a finger to bring my eyes up to his level. "If that were the case, both myself and Lord Third would have said that from the get go. The fact that we didn't means that that is NOT what we are thinking at the slightest. I frown and avoid his gaze. "No, you are just treating me like a baby," I growl. Kakashi shakes his head. "No, I am treating you like the person I love has had a great shock and wants to rush rashly into danger without a single thought as to how that would jeopardize the mission. You do realize that just with you being with, you put him in that much more danger, right? And whatever it is that he has been hiding, with you as a hostage they could kill THREE birds with one stone? They have you, they get the Kekkei Genkai you carry, and they get the scroll by using YOU as a bargaining chip with your brother. He has held out this long. But how long do you think he will hold out if his younger sister is in danger, hm?" Kakashi asks me reasonably.

I close my eyes tightly and blink away the tears that form there. "I never thought about it that way," I say quietly with a shuddering breath. Kakashi pulls me into his lap, holding me gently. I can feel the heat from his recent shower along with the smell of his freshly washed hair. Kakashi softly kisses the top of my head, alleviating some of the muttering I was doing under my breath. I look up into his eyes and see the worry and pain there. I knew he understood where I was coming from, but it did nothing to make me feel any less hurt. I lay backwards on the bed and sigh, making the joints pop in my back.

Kakashi's eyes follow lustfully as I look up at him in confusion. "Kakashi?" I breathe as he slowly leans over to kiss me. "Mmm?" He asks around my lips. "I'm sorry," I whisper sadly as I think about how angry I have been with him today. Kakashi kisses me softly, taking his own sweet time as he explores my mouth with his own. His body curls against mine and feels like a mini space heater. Reluctantly, he pulls back from me and sits up.  With a rueful smile, he brushes back his silver-white hair. "I suppose we should get lunch, hmm?" He asks as he stands and walks towards the kitchen. My stomach growls and I follow him, wanting to be the one to cook for him for a change.

After lunch, we lounge around playing another game of cards, then Shogi. I myself am decent but not the best at shogi, being as it was a strategy game. Kakashi went along with Literally whatever I wanted the entire day, aside from us leaving the apartment, which apparently wasn't allowed. Discussion was kept to a minimum for the time being, each focusing on not losing our game. The day dragged on, one another muttering curses as we tried to best the other. Kakashi beat me several times before we called it quits. It was later in the day, so dinner was made and eaten before I laid down in bed and began to read the book I had started here.

It was not until later that night that I began to feel angry again at the fact that I was not chosen to be a part of the team to save my own brother. I roll over and use the cover of reading to cry, hiding my face from his. As usual, Kakashi notices almost immediately and pulls me into him, turning me so that my face is buried in his chest. With that, I cry unhindered, terrified of what may happen to my brother while he was being rescued, and what may have already happened while he was held captive. I was worried that they may have seriously hurt him in ways that couldn't be healed.

"Shizuka, it's alright. He will be here before you know it. I promise, you will see him soon. Come here," He murmurs as he gently kisses my tears away. What was wrong with me? I was becoming such a crybaby. Was this what love did to me? This was a weakness I should never show another Shinobi, but for some reason Kakashi wasn't judging me. I could hardly understand that. With him reassuring me, before long my tears dried up and I fell asleep in his arms.

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(Kakashi's Point Of View)

I wasn't sure why she was this over emotional, but all I knew was that she was hurting and I would give anything for it to go away. The amount of tears she had shed today was alarming. I wasn't sure what to do for her. She meant everything to me and by the time I had realized that she had won such a huge place in my heart, it was a complete surprise. I was afraid that if I turned my back for even a minute, she would take off on me and I would lose her to the terrible threat over her head. If anything ever happens to her I will never forgive myself and I know this already.

I stoke her hair as she sleeps curled up against me. Carefully, I reach for the book that she had been reading and place it on the table beside me, doing my best not to wake her from her sleep. Switching off the lights, I let out a yawn and wrap myself protectively around her. It takes quite some time, but I fall into a light sleep, plagued by dreams that make absolutely no sense what so ever.

In one of them, I am in the training field surrounded by young genin I had never seen before. One of them looked a little depressed. The other two were yelling at one another. I shook my head and tried to get their squabbling to stop. All three genin turned to me and began to yell insults. One boy had black hair, the other two had silver hair kind of like mine. The boy had dark eyes but the girl looked really familiar. All looked maybe two years apart in age. "Now, now. Settle down and Don't yell," I tell them as I get in-between the black haired boy and the silver haired girl.

The girl turns and gives me an incredibly familiar glare, her bright blue eyes challenging my own. "Come on guys, can you give him a break?" I hear the voice that melts my heart behind me. I turn and gasp in surprise to see a VERY pregnant Shizuka standing behind me, carrying several takeout boxes from the dumpling shop. My surprise turns into stupor as all three kids bow to me and say' "Sorry dad." Shizuka looks up at me lovingly and I immediately place the little girl's face. She is the spitting image of her mother with my hair.

I awake with a start, my mind completely fuzzy as I try to process what had happened in my dream. I had three kids? And one on the way? Had I married Shizuka? I was very unsure of what I had seen, but I knew one thing. We had been a family. All of the kids had looked like us. I shake the thoughts out of my head and cuddle closer to Shizuka, trying to shake the feeling of the dream. "Just a dream," I mutter as I breathe in her sweet scent before reclosing my eyes and falling back asleep.