Why Me?

Untitled Part 23

As I lay on the uncomfortable hospital bed I stare at the popcorn ceiling and start to contemplate my life.

God, why do I deserve this life?  Why me? I mean, even when I was being bullied I never fought back. There were times with my father when I thought that I wasn't going to be able to control myself. Like, on February 28, 2013. I was in my room with Ashton, we were smoking while drinking fire whiskey and vodka. That was when we were a thing. Fred didn't even knock, just barged through the door and started yelling. But as soon as he saw what we were doing he started punching me. He punched me for a good five minutes and when I thought that he was done, I soon learned that I was wrong. 

Instead, he took off his belt and started to beat me with it. As he was doing that he yelled at Ashton to go find him a metal pole. I begged and pleaded with him, told him that if he actually cared for me he wouldn't do it. And then I begged Fred to stop. Neither of them listened, they only did as they pleased. In the end, Fred gave me four stitches in my left eyebrow, a broken wrist, three cracked ribs, and a fractured femur. The doctors said that if Harry hadn't stopped Fred in time that I could have gotten a crushed lung. 

Then in April of 2013 Fred beat me again. I wasn't doing anything this time. I had just walked through the front door. Fred grabbed me by my jeans and the collar of my shirt and threw me into  the glass door in the kitchen. Once again I was in the   hospital getting numerous stitches.

But the worst time was when he beat me for the first time in 2008. It was 9:00 p.m. and Fred was fighting with my mom again. At 9:15 it abruptly stopped and my door opened. I immediately started to scream as I was dragged off of my bed and onto the floor. "Your mother is refusing me tonight, I guess you'll have to do." he said as he started to pull my clothes off. I started screaming louder and my mom came running into the room. "Frank! Frank! What the fuck are you doing?! Get off of her!" she he screamed as she tried to pull him off of me. Fred pushed her into the wall, like she was a piece of lint, and she went unconscious. "shut the fuck up, you bitch." He spat as he continued to violate me. As I continued screaming, I started to feel a warm sensation spread over my body. "Shut the fuck up or I will go deeper." Fred said showing me his knife. I continued screaming anyways and the last thing that I remember before I awoke in the hospital was Fred bashing me in the head with my alarm clock.

So why God? Why me? Why do I deserve these punishments when I did nothing wrong. Please tell me because Hell knows that I have no idea why I do.