𝐧𝐲𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐚 · 𝘵𝘢𝘦, 𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦

her

i'm slowly fading away.

you are one of a kind, aren't you? how foolish of you to think that i'd remember you the same way you remember me.

and how foolish of me, too, to think that you'd remember me if i did remember you.

i'm starting to become just a memory.
a bittersweet one.

yet i'm only a memory to you.
when i wake up tomorrow morning,
you won't even mean a single speck of dust to me.

i hate the way you looked at me this morning when you brought in baby's breath while standing in my doorstep.
i hate the way your eyes shine when you see me or when you hear my voice.
i hate the way you make me feel so guilt about something i can't even prevent.

i hate how you choose to hurt yourself by choosing me instead of those other girls who knew how to live and knew what it feels like to be loved.
are you doing this on purpose?
just to make me feel hurt?

i hate how you wanted to make me love myself even if it costyou to lose all of your self-love. you drained all of the love you received just to give them to me, even if i wasn't able to give it back.

and you, being the bravest person i know, acted like it was nothing. you acted like you were used to it already, but the way you admired everything in just a simple night explained it all.

it's ridiculous how you are trying to make me stop hurting myself by being with you,
yet you're the one who gets hurt when you are with me.

stop.
you deserve the entire universe while all i gave you was a star.
you deserve more.

good night,
irene.