Book 4: The Way We've Always Done Before (Axl Rose FanFic)

Ch. 2: Tea Time

I carried the tray of tea with trembling arms. I could see waves beginning to slosh around in the mugs as I walked. I tried to calm myself, get myself to relax, but I just couldn't help it. Jeff's arrival had stirred up every emotion and memory I'd ever buried deep within me.

Next to myself, Jeff had been one of the only people Will had felt close to. Of course, both of them being male had helped them become closer as friends, while Will had shared more intimate moments with me.

"Careful," Jeff cooed, standing up as I entered the room and helping me to steady the tray. He began to pull it away from me, but I held fast to it. "Let go, Hazel. You're not well enough to be carrying this."

"But, I'm the hostess. I should be serving you," I insisted, my face growing hot. His grey eyes looked unimpressed.

"Just take a seat, seriously."

I reluctantly released my hold on the tray and plopped down onto the couch, running my fingers through my thick, chestnut hair.

"Relax," Jeff said as he sat down in the recliner across from me, setting the tea on the coffee table between us. "It's not like I'm a stranger."

"No. You definitely are not," I snorted sarcastically, shaking my head. This all felt like I was viewing the world through a haze. It was as if this whole thing was just some crazy dream, and I didn't know whether or not I wanted to keep dreaming or to wake up.

He stared at me in silence, watching me with those old, wise eyes. I knew there was no hope for me when it came to trying to hide my feelings from Jeff. He had always had some uncanny ability to read people like books. It didn't matter if he'd known you for 2 years or for 2 hours, Jeff just always seemed to know.

"You're freaked out," he said. It wasn't a question, but a statement. I rested my head in my hands and nodded.

"I just have so many questions right now. Like, what are you doing here? What's going on? Is this real?" I gulped and stared at him, petrified. I'd just had a new thought pop into my head that became the most pressing matter. "Where's the rest of the band?"

He chuckled at my obvious fear. "Don't worry, they're not here. Axl isn't here."

Axl. I winced at the name. I'd never get used to calling him that. I nodded slowly and sighed. "Good. So why are you here if everyone else is gone?"

"I've been in Lafayette for a while now, actually. About six months."

I gasped and tossed my arms up. "Jeff! You've been here for six months and you didn't even tell me?"

"Well, you don't exactly live right in the middle of town..."

I guess that was a fair point. Although the town was small, my home was on the very outskirts of the county line, far from everyone else. If Jeff had come back-if Will had come back-I would've never known unless my family would have to go into town, which was seldom considering we had our own garden and farm animals.

"Plus, I wasn't here for a reunion," he added. "I got into some trouble back in the city and was put on probation. I was getting sick of the life I was leading-that the band was leading. So I came here and shacked up with my mom to sober up. Trust me, I would've visited you sooner but, I didn't want you to see me like that. I wanted to at least be something like how you remembered me."

I frowned as he took a sip of his tea. He wouldn't look me in the eyes and, for the first time since I'd known Jeff, he looked ashamed. Now that I really looked at him, I also noticed slight differences in him. He was thinner, paler, his complexion wasn't as clear as it once was. His eyes, which had always seemed to belong to an elderly man, looked exhausted and strained. He had obviously been through Hell and back.

I stood from the couch and walked over to the arm of the recliner. I sat down and wrapped an arm around him. He was real. He felt warm and solid. I couldn't help it, I let out a sob and wrapped my other arm around him and buried my face into his neck.

He pulled me onto his lap and cradled me, rocking the recliner back and forth gently.

"I thought you weren't real," my body was trembling and I clutched onto him for dear life. He was my only link to Will, and one of my oldest, long lost friends. "I thought you were never coming back!"

I began bawling, and he patted my back, shushing me as we swayed in the chair. He waited until my crying had subsided into soft sniffing before he spoke.

"I'm sorry, Hazel. I'm so sorry. Axl kept saying we were coming back, but...things got crazy."

I coughed lightly and sniffled. "He got married, you know."

I felt Jeff's shoulders stiffen and he sucked in a breath. "He got divorced."

I shook my head. "He got married."

Jeff lowered his eyes to me and frowned. I pulled away from him and got up from the recliner. I didn't know what to do anymore. I was too scared and hurt to tell him to stay, but I was too scared and hurt to tell him to leave. This ordeal would hurt me no matter which way it went in the end.

I could either leap at this second chance that was practically thrown onto my lap and ask Jeff for help. Ask him to let me see Will, if only for one last time. I needed answers, and I needed them soon or I was afraid I would burst. The only other option would be to ask Jeff to leave. I'd tell him to leave and please, never come back. But I knew all of the collective "what if's?" would gnaw at me, the way they've been gnawing at me since the day Will and Jeff up and left this town.

"Look, I came here to visit because I missed you. Not only that, but I owed it to you to give you this chance."

I turned away from the window I'd been gazing out of and looked at him with a raised eye brow.

"Come back to L.A. with me. I'm going to be reuniting with the band and I'd love for you to come with me, like you were supposed to. The guys and I could hook you up with a great job. You could send the money back to your parents, maybe get an apartment out in the city...."

I threw up my arms. "Come with you? Come with you? You wait all these years, forget about me, throw me aside, abandon me, and now you expect me to just leave my parents-my home-for two guys who just said 'forget you' when I needed them most?"

I usually didn't get this upset. I hated yelling, arguing, fights of any kind, really. But this was too much. He was asking for too much, and I'd bottled up these feelings for so long. I felt like a volcano that had lay dormant for years, and I was finally about to blow.

"We didn't abandon you! I didn't, anyway. I kept telling Axl, but he just wouldn't allow it. He kept putting it off and I finally just gave up."

"You didn't try!" I cried, feeling the tears returning to my eyes.

"I did try!" He shouted. I stepped back and bumped into the window pane. I'd never heard Jeff yell before. He caught himself, and blinked a few times as if he had even surprised himself before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Go."

"What?" He blinked at me dumbly.

"Go away. Just leave. I'm done. I've put myself through enough as it is. You're not putting me through the wringer again."

Jeff's face went blank and he got to his feet.

"I can see I've over stayed my welcome. Sorry for causing such a fuss," he nodded at me and I just glared back, my chest heaving with each breath I took.

As he turned to go, he glanced back over his shoulder.

"If you change your mind, I'm leaving at ten o'clock tomorrow morning. I guess just come by my mom's house if you decide you want to come to the city."

As soon as he had gone, the tears began to pour and I sprinted up the stairs to my bedroom.

"Hazel?" My mom called after me, but I ignored her, slamming my door and locking it.

I just wanted to be alone. Why couldn't everybody just leave me alone?