Book 4: The Way We've Always Done Before (Axl Rose FanFic)

Ch. 22: Bipolar

I waited until Izzy was fast asleep to walk to Will's house for the second time since my stay in L.A. No one had seen Will for two days and everyone had tried-and failed-to get a hold of him over the phone, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and make the trek out to his house.

I remembered most of the twists and turns to get to his house, but I still had to stop a few times for directions. Still, the trip went a lot quicker now that I had some idea of where I was going. Before I knew it, I was standing at Will's doorstep.

I hesitantly held up a fist and pounded on the door. When I got no answer, I pounded again. Still, nothing. I gulped and, with a trembling hand, tried the door knob. It opened without much effort, and soon enough, I was standing in the doorway, gazing down at the empty bottles scattered about the floor.

"Will?" I called softly, stumbling over some garbage as I crept deeper into his home, closing the front door behind me. "Will?"

I inched further into the living room. More bottles, a couple needles, and some pictures that looked cut up and burned in some spots.

I heard a creak coming from upstairs. I gulped and hesitantly headed for the steps.

"Will?" My voice trembled and I felt my heart beating about a mile a minute. This was just getting to be too creepy. I thought about what Izzy had said the other night about Will threatening to kill himself. The thought made me pick up speed. I rushed up the stairs, pulling open doors and expecting to find a body behind each one.

It was only until I got to Will's actual bedroom that I paused to say a prayer. If Will's dead body was lying behind this door, I would just lose it. Biting the inside of my cheek, I gently pushed open the door.

The room was cold, and I saw some sheer, white curtains blowing in the cool, morning breeze. I assumed that that was the source of the fallen temperature. I pushed the door open some more, revealing a bed, also covered in white sheets, blankets, and pillows. Pushing the door until it was fully opened, I saw Will seated at the foot of his bed, bent over and staring at the floor.

"Will!" I sobbed, rushing to his side. "You're okay!"

I dropped to my knees and buried my face into his thigh, crying tears of relief and joy. In between sobs, I heard him mutter something.

"What was that?" I asked.

"You lied to me."

I quirked an eye brow. "What? About what?"

"I saw you at the club with Tommy. And the way you acted towards me after you spoke to him...."

His voice held no expression. His eyes were blank as he spoke. "You think it's true, don't you? You think I'm dangerous. You think I'm bipolar."

I noticed a single, dark spot on Will's thigh and knew that it was a tear. I gripped his leg tighter and looked up at him.

"I'll believe you. Whatever you say, I'll believe you. If you say it's true, then it's true. If not, it's not. Either way, I'm ready to stand by you. I want to help you."

That seemed to thaw him. He turned to me and dropped to the ground in front of me, shoving his face into my lap and beginning to weep.

"Why me, Hazel? Why?" He sobbed into my legs. "I didn't want to hurt her, I promise. She just...she wasn't you. I wanted to get over you so bad. When your dad said you were married, I lost all hope. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Either Erin would be mine, or I would die. I tried to move on and be happy. I wanted Erin to be enough for me. But it wasn't enough."

I began to feel tears in my eyes at Will's words. He sounded like a madman, yet he made too much sense to be crazy.

"Hazel, I feel so terrible. She didn't deserve it. How much sense does that make? Hating someone for not being someone else. I'm a terrible person. Kill me. Please, kill me."

I started to sob right along with him. I started rubbing his back and kissing the back of his head.

"Stop it, dammit," I ordered. "I'll take care of you. You're not a terrible person."

He pulled away from me and stormed over towards his nightstand.

"I don't deserve you," he roared. "I never did. Fuck."

I watched as he began sifting through the drawer of the nightstand.

"Will...What're you...?"

I watched as he finally pulled out a small handgun, inspecting it as he pulled it from the drawer.

"I'm sorry, Hazel. I've fucked up for far too long."

"Will, please, don't-"

"I have to. There's no hope, Hazel. You know now. You hate me."

"No!" I cried. "Will, I promise that I love you. I always have. From the moment you started chasing girls in high school up until today, I have loved you. I love you more and more every day. My dad tried to stop it, but even when I thought you hated me, I couldn't stop loving you. I'll never stop loving you. Now, put that gun down right now and come back over here this instant!"

His lips trembled as he glared at me. We held each others' gaze for what felt like an eternity before Will let out a sniffle and set the gun back down. He stumbled back over towards me and fell into a heap on the floor, his head on my lap once more.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that," he whispered. "I'm sorry for everything."

I shushed him gently and began combing through his hair with my fingers. "Don't apologize for the things you can't help. I love every side of you. Even the ugly one."