I've Always Been Around (Camren)

Chapter 2: Pushing You Away

*Lauren's P.O.V*

The day so far has drug on and on.  Luis is extra attentive to me and our relationship, which I absolutely adore, but I can't help be upset about where things were left with Camila.  I understand that she was upset I left her to go hang out with Luis but she could at least be a decent friend when I talk to her about something so important like sex.  I mean, as my best friend you think she'd be there for that.  It's not like I've completely left her alone, I'm just not around as much.  That doesn't mean we're not still best friends.. right?

I sighed sitting down at our usual lunch table.  Ally, Normani, and Dinah eyed me curiously but I avoided their gazes.  I picked at the salad that was in front of me, never taking a bite.  I sighed again, pushing the food forwards and resting my elbow on the table.

"Yo, what's your problem?" Dinah asked me.

Luis took his usual seat next to me and kissed my cheek before I answered her.  "Nothing, what makes you thing something is wrong?" I nearly snapped back.

"Woah babe, you okay?" Luis said cautiously.

Normani interjected more kindly than the rest, "It's just- you're not eating Laur," she gestured to my untouched salad, "And you haven't looked at any of us until now."

I frowned slightly, "Where's Camz?" I jumped to my feet, looking around the cafeteria.

"She said something about the music room," Ally started, shoving a carrot into her mouth.

Dinah jumped up as well, "Lauren I don't think that's a good idea.  You know she goes there when she wants to be alone and after yesterday-"

Ally cut her off, "What happened yesterday?"

"She told you?!" I shot back at Dinah ignoring Ally.

Dinah only shrugged in response.

"I'm going to find her." I huffed, leaving everyone at the table speechless.

Making my way down the hall, I had a moment to thing about it all.  What was I even going to say to her?  I knew she wouldn't listen to I'm sorry.  I'll just have to see how it goes.  I can't lose her.  I'm an asshole and she's the only one that will actually deal with me.

I reached the outside of the music corridor, Camila's beautiful voice filled my ears.  I took a deep breath and pushed the door open slowly, revealing Camila's small body sitting in front of a beautiful grand piano.  Her fingers dancing delicately on top of the ivory keys.

As always she was in her own little world when she was playing.  I cleared my throat causing Camila to abrupt stop playing.  Her face that was once bright and cheerful suddenly turned gloomy.  She slammed the cover on the keys shut and looked at me with her brows furrowed.

"What are you doing here?" she spat, eyeing me up and down.

I ran my fingers through my hair nervously, "Please, can we talk?"

"I was kind of busy," she gestured to the piano.

"Then keep playing and we'll talk after, you always play for me." I say knowing fully well that I'm the only person Camila willingly plays piano for.

Camila shook her head, "But I don't want to now."

I was shocked, was she really that mad at me?  "Camila, please.  I don't want to lose you."

She chuckled to herself in the most sinister way possible as she collected her music.  "You already have." she shot at me, her words stinging.  "Leave me alone, okay?  Goodbye Lauren." she pushed past me and exited the room quickly.

Shaking, I sat down in the closest chair that I could find in the large room, setting my head in my hands.  I let a few tears fall from my eyes into my palms until I heard a small knock on the door.  Turning my back to whom ever was there, I composed myself before greeting the person.

Normani was standing in the doorway with a sympathetic look on her face.  "Laur," she took a few steps into the room and plopped down on the chair next to mine.  She set her hand on my knee and made me look at her.  I felt a few more tears slide down my already burning face.  "Just give her time." she murmured softly.

I nodded, burying my face in my hands, almost ignoring Normani.

The bell rang and she stood from her seat, placing her hand on my shoulder one last time.  "Don't worry too much, Lo.  Y'all are so close, Camila will come around," With one last look she exited the room, leaving me alone again with my thoughts.

I sat at the piano and ran my fingers over the keys, where Camila's once were.  In a way I felt like I could still feel her in the room with me, a hint of her vanilla scent still lingering.  I began to play, first softly then building forcefully.  The music growing louder and louder, filling the empty space around me.

After moments of playing vigorously, tears began to stream down my cheeks.  All this rage and anger at myself filling my body.  Before I knew what I was doing I just slammed on the keys, letting out loud sobs.

There I was, crying and alone on a piano bench in the middle of a nearly empty room.

- - - - - - - - - - -

*Camila's P.O.V*

Okay, maybe I was slightly harsh with Lauren but she needs to get the point.  My blood was still boiling when Dinah knocked on my bedroom door and walked in slowly.

"Hey Mila." Dinah said sitting down on my bed next to me.

I shot to my feet and began pacing quickly, ranting things about Lauren and Luis and the argument.  "Mila.." Dinah tried to interject.  I ignored her and continued to mumble to myself.  "Camila!" Dinah said roughly, causing me to stop in my tracks.  "Talk to me, what's going on?"

So I told her about all that happened today at school and about how I just up and walked away from her.

"Mila, do you think you're still pissed or are you just distancing yourself because your feelings are getting stronger?" Dinah questioned knowingly, her eyebrow arched.

"No!  I'm angry with her." I tried to tell her.  "This has nothing to do with me liking her, or being jealous of Luis, or wanting to mean something to her, or..." I stopped myself.

Dinah smirked to herself and patted the spot next to her.  Reluctantly I sat down and laid my head on her shoulder.

Dinah put her arm protectively around my shoulder, "Don't punish your best friend because you can't handle your feelings."

I sighed gently, "I'm not trying to punish her, Dmac.  It's just so freaking hard, ya know?  Being in love with your best friend. knowing she'll never, not ever, feel the same way."

"You don't know she won't-" Dinah tried but I cut her off.

"Yes I do.  She's straight, Dinah.  STRAIGHT.  Plus she has a boyfriend.  Whom of which I'm pretty sure she's madly in love with.  She's never going to like me.  The only thing I can do is distance myself from her until my feelings go away and then pray that she's still around to be my best friend when they go away and I'm comfortable being so close to her again."

Dinah took a deep breath, not really knowing what to say.  Instead she just ran her hand up and down my back, trying to soothe me.

I felt tears prickle in my eyes and I through myself backwards onto the bed.  Letting sobs rack my body, I curled into a ball.

"I just want to be alone." I cried.

Dinah nodded in understanding, "I love you, Mila." she murmured, kissing my head gently.  "Call me if you need anything." She finished, disappearing through the door as I crumbled in the middle of my bed, pushing everyone that loves me away.