Instead of Me

∆12∆

In only an hour and a half, I managed to be slapped by two different girls, make out with my ex, drink four full cups of whatever alcohol was served, and make a complete fool of myself. I found myself sitting in the bathtub of the upstairs bathroom, downing a bottle of beer with no problem. And I hated it because all I could think of was how I had found my dad like this many times since Mom had left. There was a knock on the door. I rolled my head back, aggravated by people. "Finn? Are you in here? It's Annie." I told her to go away, but she opened the door anyway. "Finn. . ." her voice trailed off as she stared at me, as though I was some sort of freak at a circus. "What have you gotten yourself into?" Annie closed the door behind her and knelt down next to the tub. She rested her chin on the edge and ran her fingers through my hair.

"I told you we shouldn't have come," I mumbled, taking another sip. "This was a stupid idea." I bit down on my tongue. Everything that could have gone wrong tonight, went wrong. 

"Are you sure you're okay? You look like you just saw a ghost." Kat laughed when she stepped to the side to let Annie, Heath, and I inside her house. She took a sip of whatever was inside her cup.

Annie gave my arm a squeeze, knowing well enough that the sight of Riley Barnes was enough to jumble up my thoughts and churn my stomach. We walked through the door and Kat offered to take our coats for us. Annie and Heath thanked her, but all I could do was stare at my ex who I had hoped to never have to encounter ever again. As much as I hated her, I was still drawn to her in a way. She was the girl I had given my virginity to. We shared a lot of moments like that with each other. How could I forget about that? I swallowed a lump in my throat as Annie took my arm and lead me into the kitchen away from Riley, who wouldn't even look my way when we entered the house. 

I snapped out of my weird trance when Annie snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Did you know she was supposed to be here?" My voice sounded as though I was blaming her, but I didn't mean for it to. That's just how it came across.

She held her hands out, shrugging her shoulders. "How would I know if she was coming? If you don't remember, let me enlighten you, Finn. Riley and I hated each other." She crossed her arms. "She's probably here for some sort of photo shoot and heard about a party so she came over. It probably has nothing to do with you." I clenched my jaw. "Do you want it to?" she exclaimed angrily. "Oh, get over yourself, Finn. You're better off without her." She shook her head at me. "Just stay away from her, okay? Stay here and chill out. When you're feeling a bit less nauseated by your stupid ex, Heath and I will be in the living room." And with that, Annie left me in the kitchen, surrounded by already drunk teenagers surrounding a keg and couples making out, all alone. 

I scratched my head, trying to collect my thoughts. I walked over to the counter, and some guy handed me a full red solo cup. He wouldn't let me say no, and he wouldn't leave me alone until I drank from it. It was some sort of strong alcohol, that's for sure. But it was terrible. It was all they had though so I kept drinking from it. The house was huge. I knew Katherine's family was well-off, but I had no idea they were this well-off. 

A girl approached me not even five minutes after Annie left me. She was cute with curled black hair. I thought she might have been Korean. "Hi Finn," she said flirtatiously, biting her lip as she smiled. I said hi. "Don't you remember me?" she asked, raising her eyebrow. I inquired if I should. She informed me that we had, in fact, slept together last year. I told her that I didn't recall that at all and apologized because there were quite a few girls like that. Then, she slapped me, clearly offended that she was seen as just some one night stand. I understood why she was upset. I would be, too, but did she have to hit me? I held my jaw. There was a possibility that the side of my face would be bruised. The Korean girl left the room as a bunch of drunk guys laughed at me. Five minutes into the party and I already wanted to leave.