Instead of Me

∆25∆

"Can I walk you to your door?" I asked, as Kat climbed out of the backseat of Heath's car. She nodded, holding her hand out for me to take. "I had a good time," I told her, grazing the back of her hand with my thumb. "And I hope that you think the second chance was worth it."

Katherine was so happy that she seemed as though she was floating across the sidewalk. "I think it was." She laughed nervously, her gaze glued to the sidewalk until we approached the door. "Um. . . Do you want to maybe come in?"

I knew I wouldn't mind going in and spending the night with Kat, but how far was I willing to take this? How long could I let this go on before admitting that I'm in love with my best friend? I can't be willing to hurt Kat again.

It seemed as though several minutes passed by as I opened my mouth to say something, but clamped my jaw shut almost immediately. "I would really like to go in," I said slowly, "but I don't think I should go in."

Her spirits seemed to drop completely. "O-okay," she said, clearly hurt.

"I want to though."

Katherine sighed. "It's okay. I mean- it wasn't an invitation to get into my pants. I thought we could just hang out and maybe watch a movie or something."

My breath caught in my throat. "I- of course," I stuttered. "I appreciate the bluntness," I murmured.

She half-heartedly smiled. "That's my thing." Her voice seemed tiny.

"I noticed," I said through a chuckle. I cupped her jaw in my hands and pressed my lips to her, partly to show her I meant what I said, and partly just to do it. I had missed kissing someone regularly.

Kat wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed with more force. We pulled away and I pushed her curls away from her eyes.

Suddenly, a car door slammed. Annie called out, "Finn, can I talk to you for a second?" She was leaning against Heath's car in the driveway with her arms crossed. Heath had given her his jacket and it was draped over her shoulders. I shoved my hands in my pockets and cautiously walked towards her. "Are you staying with Kat?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I mean she offered, but I just told her it wasn't a good idea."

"Well, make it a good idea."

I gave her a questioning look. "What do you mean?" But once the sentence got out, I didn't need an explanation. I clenched my jaw and held my breath, waiting for the blow of Annie's response to hit me.

Annie shook her head. "You can be so dense sometimes, Finny." She reaches up and messed up my hair, brushing the curls out of my eyes. "Your options are either here or the couch at my house. But if you sleep on the couch, you have to cover for me in the morning. My mother would kill me, and you for letting it happen, if she found out I had been having sex under her roof." She was whispering at this point.

"I could just go back to my place," I blurted out, not meaning it at all.

Annie stiffened. "Absolutely not. I won't allow it. I'd like you to be alive tomorrow morning, thank you very much."

That hit me in the gut. She had a point, but, somehow, I couldn't throw my dad under the bus. Not even to Annie.

"I guess I'll see if Kat won't mind me changing my mind." But I stayed there for a while, just looking at Annie. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" I asked.

Annie purses her lips and avoided eye contact. "Yes, of course," she replied spitefully. "I couldn't be more ready." She seemed to be trying to convince herself more than me.