OCD

Stars

Naomi's POV

It feels like an eternity, I've been here about 2 weeks now and I don't seem to get better or think differently, at first I was very excited and had my hopes up but now I don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings, the nurses have to tell me things so that I keep going every day.

Should I?, What's the purpose of staying here? to just be around to make everyone happy?

I don't know what to think about my life anymore, all of my thoughts drive me crazy everyday I can't even sleep at night, I start counting and then I get lost checking everything is alright around my room, nurses just watch me go around the room.

"Good night sweetheart" my nurse says.

"Bye" I said.

As quickly as she left I got up and checked the window was locked, the bathroom door and the closet doors, I walked back to my bed and looked at the ceiling it was full of night stars that I had put. I start counting them, I suddenly get lost and I start again, but this time I stand up and try to reach them. A nurse sees me and runs to my room with other two nurses.

"Girl, What are you doing? Its bedtime" she said and the two other nurses reach for me.

"No!" I scream as they touch me.

"I need to count them or I won't be able to sleep" I explain to them but its no use.

"You didn't sleep last night either, you should rest" the nurse said.

The three held me down to the bed and I couldn't move.

"You can count them from here, if you move we'll take you to another room" one of the nurses said, and I knew what room they were talking about.

"No, p-please let me c-count them" I said as anxiety started kicking in.

"Calm down and breathe" the nurse that was standing by the door said.

I sat up "I can't b-breathe" I said chocking up.

I started hyperventilating, the nurse ran to where I was and connected the pulse monitor, it immediately read my pulse and the machine started beating faster every second going by.

"Come here" she said and reached for me. She put my head in her chest.

"Pay attention to my breathing, in and out" she said as her chest moved.

I payed attention to her heartbeat and counted to three one time after another until I had calmed down.

"You shouldn't be having anxiety or panic attacks, your psychologist is treating you" she said and stared into my eyes.

"You have had others here before right?" she said as if she could stare into my soul and see it.

I just waved my head yes and she gave me a weird look as if trying to figure me out.

"Naomi! Have you been taking your pills?" she asked angrily. My anxiety started again.

I waved my head yes, of course she didn't believe me.
She said something into my room speaker and the two other nurses came in, they flicked the lights on and started searching around my room, I immediately ran out of there, I ran to the hall that had the emergency door and ran outside.

At first I didn't know where to go and then I saw car lights and everything went black.