OCD

Crazy

Naomi's POV

One, two, three. Open eyes.
I turn around and see my aunt looking at me.
"Hey" I say and she just gives me a sad smile.
"What's going on?" I asked and she sat up.
"I'm sorry but I talked with your mom and we decided that you need some help" she said. I couldn't understand because my brain just stopped.
"What do you mean? I'm already in therapy" I was afraid that she meant...
"You're going to the hospital Naomi" as soon as I heard it I started panicking.
"You will just be there to have an assessment because you've been having suicidal thoughts again and then they'll see if you stay" she rubbed my back but I stood up and went to my bathroom.

Am I crazy?
Is that what they think about me?
Yes you're crazy and they don't love you so they're locking you away.

"Naomi pack your stuff and come downstairs when you're ready" my mom said and left, she didn't even wanted to talk to me.

Ready? How can I be ready?
Who's ready for something like this?
You're just a disappointment, congratulations.

I don't even know how to feel so I just start packing everything and go through stuff I may need.
I numbly close my bedroom door and walk downstairs still not able to process what's going on.

"Let's go" my aunt says and grabs my bag.

We head out and my mom checks my bag to take out stuff that I can't have there. I just sit in the car and stare at the window.

I couldn't even say goodbye to everyone because no one was home, apparently Chelsea took everyone somewhere to distract them.

We arrive and we park in front of the ER. I get a picture taken and a bracelet with my info. We sit down and my school social worker is there because I had something at school today but didn't go and she had to know what was going to happen to report it to school.

"Hey sweetie" she says and gives me a side hug.
I say hi and sit next to her with my bag in my lap.

A nurse calls my name and we walk to the examination room. They check my bag and give me temporary scrubs.

I look at myself in the mirror and a few tears come out of my eyes. I open the door three times and come out.

My aunt is there and she gives me a sad smile, but somehow it comforts me. I go up to her and hug her tightly, I know she somehow feels responsible for this but I know she was worried. I let go, she grabs my face and stares at me lovingly.

"You are a super strong lady, you can do this!" she says and kisses my forehead. My mom just sits listening to everything my nurse is saying to the school social worker.

I got a normal room and different doctors started coming in asking questions and typing into their computers. I got weighed and they took my blood pressure, of course it was high (anxiety).

After 1 hour they tell me that I'm ready to go to the psychiatric unit. I say goodbye to the social worker and my aunt, my mom goes with me and we follow a nurse.

The nurse opens the doors with her tag and we enter the psych unit. I instantly hear music playing in the hall.They showed me my room, which was in front of the nurses station, and I left my stuff there.

My mom was taken to a room to do some paperwork and I was taken to another examination room. They gave me comfier scrubs and slippers and then scanned me with a metal detector.

I signed some papers with my mom and she said goodbye.

"I'll come tomorrow morning and aunt Tiana will visit you tonight. Please take care and don't worry about anything, just focus on yourself" she said and gave me a quick hug.

I couldn't even talk so I just waved bye as she left me in my room. Right away my staff came in and introduced themselves, they explained everything and answered some questions I had.

"So I have to do three daily check-ins a day to get my clothes back?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah, right now everyone is having lunch so you can just hang out here and unpack some stuff" Amy said (staff).

"Okay thank you" they left and I sat on my bed taking everything in.

I had a small room with a huge window, there was a small desk/table attached to the wall with a heavy plastic chair next to it, I had a kind of nightstand but it just had one drawer and it was locked, the bed was pushed into the wall and it had a thin blanket. The bathroom was locked and I had to ask someone to open it if I needed to use it.

I sat starring outside the window, thinking about how I was out there a few hours ago. I analyzed the schedule and realized we had group in a few hours.

I just hope that I can survive this.