The hunger games continued

Chapter 15- let go, whether I like it or not

I fold the now tear stained note, I look down at Haymitch's still body, relentlessly willing it to twitch, an eyelash to flutter, anything to signal life, but he stays still, he always was was stubborn, I stare down at him, tears falling consistently, one lands on Haymitch's pale cheek and go to brush it away, as my fingers make contact I pull it away, frightened by the coldness of his skin, until then the whole situation seemed unreal, dreamlike even, but in that one movement, that one moment of contact, it all become overwhelmingly real, and it was to much, I had a breakdown, I cried hysterically until my cries became screams, I dropped to floor, the pressure was too much, the games, Haymitch, I couldn't handle it, I dug my finger nails into my scalp clawing at my hair, I heard the thudding of lots of feet, I heard voices telling me to calm down and that it was all going to be fine, I screamed louder and louder, determined to drown out their patronising voices, they probably think that I'm overreacting but they don't understand, this just one of so many people that are going die, the first of so many people that are going to lose their lives, I can't handle this, it's too much to take, I can barely handle Haymitch dieing, how am I supposed to cope with losing everyone else? but I can't freak out completely, I have to protect Sonny, she needs me, if I lose it she'll have no one, I feel someone with strong stocky try to lift me off the floor, but I kick and thrash and scream, eventually they give up and put me now gently, I hear my fathers voice, "Forest, I need to take you out now, be a good girl for daddy" he speaks like I'm five, but it calms me, he try's to pick me up again and I screech and a kick a bit halfheartedly, "wait!" I squeal, "wait! wait! I have to say goodbye, I have to say goodbye!" he stops, thinking a while, but he nods and I sprint down the aisle, "goodbye Haymiych" I whisper, "I love you, so so much" I hesitate, but lean down and give him one last kiss, I have to let go, whether I like it or not.