Rahim facing fight of his head and heart, showing in his own words..
(Rahim's point of view)
Right things happen at wrong time.
When i needed to be furious at her for reading my diary without my approval, her every single word was mending my soul. The most alluring girl of the class, for whom my heart always reverberated, was all geared up to walk with me till the end but at the wrong time.
She was the girl who deserved plenty of happiness. I wanted her to shine like a moon but didn't want myself to be a smudge on her lamp. The glimpse of her innocent and amused face i had on the first day and her blinking of eyes in between that drizzling and orange sky made me more strong. Being a poor nerd, belonging to other caste i could give her only pains and struggles in life which i never wished for her. I didn't want her to spend her life being caretaker of my house and responsibilities. I would love her even when she have wrinkles and hair changes color but wouldn't be able to walk by her side for her own good. My pain was more than she imagined. A person buried under the guilt of being the reason behind his father's death could never move on and enhance someone's life. She was never a burden for me but i would definitely be the one. I built a nest of thoughts around me.
Bell rang, everyone departed from college and so I. Reaching at home, I dimmed the lights of my room, settled myself on a fluffy pillow and didn't even realise when sleep hugged me tight. Abbu's stall remain shut today. Akbar prepared dinner and woke me up. Spending night was more harder. Sleep was treating me like a stranger now. Thoughts of Ruhi's letter were still there in my head. Battle of heart and head was causing an unbearable pain. I loved her but had no guts to accept that reality. I torn a page and wrote few lines in order to reply to Ruhi's letter :
"Jajbaato se pyar nhi,
Inki kadar ki jaati hai.
Duniya ki is sachai se,
Har rooh rub-a-ru nhi ho pati hai.
Do mulakato ko pyar nhi,
Dil ka dhoka kaha jata hai.
Jab thokar lagti hai,
Toh yeh pyar bhi kho jata hai.
Ruhi, i do not want you to regret in future of your today's decisions. Nor it is the right time and right situation to think about all these. We should better concentrate on making a bright future rather than following our Childish emotions. I am firm on my decision so i hope you will not make it more complicated by chasing me and questioning me. Please. I am sorry.
Ruhi was excited but suddenly, something choked her..
Her words..
(Ruhi's point of view)
The excitement to hear those beautiful words of LOVE from Rahim didn't let me sleep whole night. I woke up before alram rang. The newspaper dropped in my balcony made me feel the fragrance of my beloved Rahim. I wore my favourite black kurta, the same dress i wore on the first day of college. Tied my hairs into a scruffy, untidy pony and absolutely slaying.
I was praying God, meanwhile received a call from Ruchika to inform me that she wouldn't be able to come college today. I felicited. Ruchika was no less than a Gooseberry who could have spoiled our moment today. Thankfully everything was going well. I reached college before time. Even the punctual guy didn't reach by that time. Goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach were evidencing my agitation. And finally he arrived. Hero of my life came riding his hero bicycle in his royal blue shirt. His dark circles manifested his being a insomniac. Stupid. Was he too so in a hurry to meet me that insomnia hit me so harder last night? My heartbeats fastened simultaneously with his footsteps rhythmically.
"Good Morning, R..R.. Rahim." I stammered like a fool.
"Good morning." He replied in his serious tone.
He was so strange. Wasn't he?
I had a glow on my face seeing him.
We both walked to our class. I had so much in my heart to share with him. I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted to feel his warmth. I wanted to tell, how much i love him. But none of us uttered a word. Class was noiseless. We were sitting next to each other facing blackboard. Gathering all my strength i turned my face. He did the same. I looked into his eyes. That was probably the best thing i ever saw. The best moment i ever had.
"Ruhi...Don't look at me like this." and my star looked away.
I think my vocals were damaged at that time. I couldn't speak anything.
"Before you speak anything, read this letter." Rahim kept a letter on my desk and left the classroom.
My excitement was on peak. With the shivering hands, i opened it and read it. I was heartbroken. My glow was gone. My happiness was gone. Rahim was gone. I was left with my teary eyes only.
I loved him with my heart and it didn't matter if he love me back or not. All what matter for me, was his happiness. And i didn't even want him to feel guilty. I faked a smile, cleared my tears and went to him.
"Rahim, you need not to be sorry. It is completely fine for me. Anyway, i have completed the project and kept the file on your table. You please submit that to sir. I have to go home. There's an emergency." Without letting my eyes to so my pain, i spoke everything and rushed out of college gate. Nor did he stop me. I guess he knew i was lieing.
I again lied, this time to my Mom that i was sick and locked myself in my room. I cried out my heart.
