Ruhi's disturbance of mind in her words.
(Ruhi's point of view)
"Aunty Namaste!", i could hear Ruchika's voice choking my cry.
"Where's Ruhi ? It's been two days i haven't seen her. Day before yesterday she denied to join me for college explaining that she's feeling unhealthy. How is she now?"
Mom told her all about my unusual behaviour, "I don't know what's happening to her, i was 'bout to call you , thank god you came fortunately. Is everything okay in college?
Few days ago , she was quite cool ,happy and her face was shining of excitement but since past two days she spend most of her time alone, exuding mostly in her room." my mom is a good hypocrite.
"I don't know , as you said she was excited , she told me that was because of our integrated physics project. She completed it well but i don't know what her anger is about?
You might have asked her , na? What she said? I am also worried of bad intuitions." yea she's my best friend.
"I tried my level best to read her mind and asked her too. What's the matter ? But she replied in a form of ineffable silence and when i forced she said "Nothing" and left.
Beta you are her best friend , ask her what's encircling her mind and please make her feel calm and solace." delivering things in a elaborated manner.
"Where's she now?" asked Ruchika.
"In her room" mom send her in my room.
I was lying over my mattress , my head was saturated with thoughts , full of Rahim's picture and his voice neglecting me as his mate. Amidst of all these things , i didn't want anyone to break my solitude as now i started hating people who interrupts me. Now all i want was to put my sharp focus on studies and blurring the whole black background.
I could hear Ruchika's footsteps. She was coming towards me. Surrounded by thoughts of loneliness I also wanted someone's support , whom i could show all my wounds and wanted the person to heal them faster. So i decided to open the gate for her and show her my filled heart.
I tied a knot to appear cool in front of her, not to show even a notch of grief over my face. I will not utter a single word about my sorrow until she forces me to do so. Perhaps , she would , so i opened my physics book forth me and tried to appear normal.
Knock knock over my door.
"Oh! Hi Ruchika." I reacted in an surprising manner.
"How's you dear? It's been days since i saw you." She asked genuinely.
"I am alright. How's you?"
"I'm great too. What's going on?"
"Just struggling to solve few physics problems."
"Is your struggling for Physics problem only or you succumbed of some mental problems too..?" without wasting time she asked me about the matter.
"Like what? I am not getting you" and i know i was too bad in manipulating talks.
"Aunty told me about your weird behaviour, even i am noticing since few days that your mood swings are getting longer. You left me in a dilemma but i can understand that there's something roaming in your mind. Something traumatic . I know my friend , if it's just about health then you will not isolate yourself the way you're doing right now. Tell me please.", Ruchika convinced me partly.
"Not specifically , it is just that i am not able to contribute much toward studies maybe because of some unknown reasons." I wanted her to force on that 'unknown reason' so that i could spill out everything.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yes, i'll be fine soon.." i wanted to share me grief with her but my ditched soul didn't allow.
"Okay! See you soon then. Bye and take care." My soul cried. No please don't leave.
She turned to leave but i stopped her.
"Ruchika...?" and emotions rolled out of my cornea in form of water droplets.
She quickly hugged me and asked me to elaborate in a panoramic way.
"R..Rahim.. " I tried to speak but choked.
"What that rag did ? Tell me. I will bring the shit out of him." Ruchika interrupted furiously.
"Please,.. Don't you dare to call him by such words. He is a true and responsible guy whom i love so much." I stopped her before she curse him more.
Ruchika was shocked. I made her sit on the mattress and elaborated the whole matter.
" From the day one when i talked with him, i was spellbound by his personality. Many a times i tried to stay away from him but everytime destiny bought us together. And when i realised my love for him, i didn't take much time to confess it to him. Last Monday i wrote my heart on a piece of paper and proposed him. Even though he too likes me but he rejected me." I took out Rahim's rejection letter from my bag and showed her.
I continued, "This sort of gentleman, wants me to have a bright future but he didn't have any idea that my existence itself is a trivia without him. His words are echoing like a thunderstorm within me. I don't know how to get over my emotions." I breakdown and hugged her tightly.
"Ruhi, he is right. This can be your infatuation and not love. How much do you even know him ? And may be he do not like you, otherwise why would he have rejected a girl like you."
I wished to tell her about the diary in which he hid his personal life, his guilt and his love for me but i didn't want to showcase Rahim's emotions. They were pure and until Rahim himself overcome his fears and expose his story, how could I? I didn't utter a word to Ruchika and kept listening her.
"And if he is yours, he will come back. Nobody can separate you both if you are meant to be together, even not him." Her last few words touched my heart. She consoled my soul, wiped my tears and made me promise her to join college tomorrow.
I was a bit relaxed after talking to her. Sharing problems might not resolve it but surely help to face it and the same happened with me. I slept peacefully that night..
