Voice of an Angel Cannot Be Broken

Chapter 1 – The Unbreakable Spirit

Chapter 1 - The Unbreakable Spirit

Music of Inspiration: Natasha Bedingfield - Wild Horses

As I do every night in my spot, in this field, in the rain, before they come find me, I think my life so far... I wouldn't be what you'd call an extreme optimist, but I try to see the best in people and whatever situations I'm in. Sometimes, that's harder to do than I could ever think possible. Occassionally it verges on impossible.

I live in an orphanage ... ok, so the word 'live' doesn't apply, but I'd rather not think about that fact... The orphanage itself is old and literally falling apart. It's run by 3 men. All over the age of 30, alcoholics, abusive and pedofiles. Oh, I forgot to mention, the orphanage is for girls... no boys... just girls. I'm the eldest out of us all, therefore get the most abuse. I attend school, but have never made any friends. Yes, people are naturally drawn to me for some reason and are nice to me. But there is something about me that people don't want to get attachted to. And I don't mind that. I like the peace, the quiet. It keeps me from going insane.

A typical day for myself would be;

5.30am Get up, washed, dressed and make breakfast for 20 girls and 3 men.

6.30am Wake up girls, get them dressed and get them breakfast.

7.00am Bring breakfast up to Rex, Al and Bruce (the three men) and clean.

8.00am Walk everyone to school. Girls aged 4 go to nursery, girls aged 5-10 go to primary school and girls aged 11-18 go to secondary school with me. I'm a 'senior' in secondary school, in my last year before college.

9.10am School starts. I have 9 classes in a day all lasting 40 minutes. Because I'm a senior, I only chose 3 subjects to study, these are my A-levels. I chose, Music, Drama and ICT (Information Computers Technology). First class on a Monday is ICT; lasting 2 classes.

10.30am breaktime - up the canteen for a cup of tea.

10.40am 2 free classes; I go to the study hall to do homework or study or I go to music and practise.

12 noon MUSIC! We work on our recordings, compositions, topics for tests or practise.

1.20pm LUNCH!! I normally sit underneath a tree outside at the edge of the football pitch by myself and watch everyone have fun, makes me happy *shrugs*

2.00pm Drama - we work on a short play that we write, direct etc. Ourselves for our final mark.

2.40pm free class again.

3.20pm Home-time. I meet with the other girls, we get the younger girls from primary school and nursery and walk back to the orphanage.

4.00pm Get everyone settled and get homework done.

5.30pm Start to make dinner

6.30pm Dinner time

7.00pm finish chores, homework, anything else... this is usually when the men go out a drink at the pub down the road... This is when I practise my cello, they complain when they hear it... I had done some extra work outside the orphanage for 5 years before I could my own cello, bow and case. It took alot of hard work, but it paid off in the end.

8.00pm this is usually the only time I can get away from the orphanage to be by myself for once... to think over things, let my emotions out...

It's usually around 10pm when they find me. 'They' being Rex, Al and Bruce... the way they abuse me leaves me feeling broken and dirty. But I always remind myself that they're drunk, they don't know what they're doing. In the beginning, I would beg and plead with them, try to fight back, cry and scream in pain and helplessness... but over the years I've come to the conclusion, that they think this is fun to torture me... hearing me scream and sob is music to their ears... so I stopped. I cut off my emotions copmletely and stop reacting. Last night I just lay on the bed and let them have me, but I made the mistake of closing my eyes. This, they did not like. They had threatened me that they were going to beat me for it, beat me harder than they had ever done so... I guess they like to see the pain in my eyes as they assault me 'cause they know they won't get a proper physical reaction out of me... But I'm really dreading tonight... it's not going to be pretty... not that it ever is.

And so I lay here, silver tears running down my face mixed with the rain... I've noticed over the course of my life in the orphanage, my tears have become tainted... they used to be pure silver, now they have dulled to nearly grey, but they still shine with the thousands of stars... I don't known why they were silver to begin with so I can't even tell you why they've dulled.

I suddenly thought of my parents. I remember my father and mother perfectly. My father had pitch black hair with ice blue eyes, he was small but built and had the most infectious smile and laugh. My mother had bright blonde wavey hair with sky blue eyes and was about the same height as my father and although she had quite the temper, she was easily made laugh or smile. Both my parents loved each other so much, and they loved me so much. I knew this fact, but didn't know why. Something at the back of my mind was almost radiating immense heat that symbolised their love for me and would do anything for me... and that... they did ...

"Evaaaangeliiiiiiiine?" called Al in a suprisingly not-so-drunken sing-song-way, drawing out the 'a' and 'i' in my name. I quickly dried my face with my sleeve not wanting to let them see my weakness.

"Where's our little Evy?" Rex spat the 'Evy' out like it possessed some sort of poison that would take his tongue off.

I stood up and faced them, showing them only a blank face and saying nothing. It was the same blank face that held all my pain, depression, pleading, weakness and most of all anger at bay so these men wouldn't get any most pleasure out what they were doing. They quickly surrounded me with sickening evil grins on their faces, but I was used to this. This wasn't even the beginning, so I still stood stock still looking at the space behind their heads.

"It's rude to ignore someone when they're speaking to you sweet Evangeline..." Bruce whispered into my ear, as he ran his grubby hands down arms slowly, grabbing my wrists bringing them behind my back. I could cold metal against them; hand cuffs. This is new, I thought to myself. Never had they used handcuffs on me. I didn't show my confusion or fear for what was happening, that would just fuel their lust and desire to pleasure themselves, using me.

"We said we'd punish you," whispered Bruce again in my ear as his hands started to roam from my back to my waiste and all around, I cringed internally. "But we've discovered some people that want you and have been looking for you for some time now apparently... We didn't ask any questions, but we did get a large amount of money for you, so we agreed." His lips started to work along my neck, biting painfully and licking. He pressed himself into the back of me and let out a chesty moan when my hands, still cuffed behind my back, pressed against his crotch, causing him to go hard. His hands started moving greedily all over my body.

While this was happening, I had forced my mind to think about what he had just said rather than what he was doing to me. "Discovered some people that want you..."? ... "have been looking for you for some time now apparently..." Who could he be talking about? Who would want me?

At this point, Bruce, who was now standing infront of me, had his hands up my school shirt, one hand gripping my waist working its way to the band of my skirt and the other roughly grabbing my right breast... Defintely gunna leave bruises in the morning, I though to myself.

I hadn't noticed that two different men had arrived and were watching the scene before them with blank faces...