You & I || H.S.

Chapter 44

I sat down on one of the wooden chairs placed beside Mel's bed and smiled as I watched her talk in a baby-voice to her newborn son. Melina recovered quickly and was allowed to be sent to her home, but the doctor forced Liam to swear that he wouldn't allow her to do anything except lying in bed, which Liam didn't have to swear upon as he would've already done that without anyone telling him. It's really amazing watching one of your sisters’ playing with her son, who I might add find Melina stupid with all her stupid pouting and annoying voice, but I guess that's motherhood.

I can't help become a little envious at times when I watch Liam, Mel and Taylor all together, Liam and Mel chatting and whispering to the baby as if he could understand them. It's actually very hard not to be jealous, knowing I had a chance in a life like that but it was blown away by force, much to my dismay. There's this ache in my chest at times when we're all sitting together and Harry noticed once, but I shrugged it off as soon as he opened it up.

Oh, Harry, I almost forgot. We are always somehow together, except the times he has to go to work. He’s always here with me to comfort or please me and I have to say that it happens to really invite me in towards him over the days.

It satisfies me to know that he's here for me, that he's really trying his hardest to prove that he's worthy of the chance I gave him. Yesterday we went to Josh's stone and I told him everything going on between me and Harry, Harry even got to talk with him which surprised me, but made me gladder than ever. I doubt Harry ever talked personally with Josh before that time at the stone.

I remember Harry saying “I know you love her lots, but I also do, she's the only sort of positivity in my life. And I know that you want the best for her, and believe me when I say that I'll always take good care of her. I love her.”  

The way he said those words, the way he was looking at me sincerely with a smile etched on his beautiful, pale face never left my mind since then. It’s unbelievable how amazing he has been to me, and I must say that the promise he made at the stone and at the park was never broken up till this moment.

Maybe life is all about trust, and that’s what I had to learn in order to move on. I needed to trust Harry, and I am glad to say that I already do trust him, more than anything or anyone. He’s been really great to me and there’s this part of me which wants to drive him as far away as possible, but then there’s this part, huge one, which is growing feelings, strong may I add, towards him.

It’s surreal how I was able to feel something emotional towards anyone after the incident and Josh’s loss, but I do feel something towards him, that feeling which drives you to want to meet that person all the time and talk to him daily. The feeling which caused me so much happiness, but so much hurt and sadness. And much to my surprise, I am not at all guilty anymore about my feelings towards him.

“So you and Harry, then?” I heard Sarah ask. Tearing my eyes off of Mel and Taylor, I looked over at Sarah, a smile hard to hide on my face.

“Ah, yeah I guess,” But after thinking about it for a moment I decided saying, “But not as a couple, though.” I was glad that it was only me, Sarah and Mel in Melina’s room because I can’t discuss this matter in front of anyone and everyone.

“Well, I doubt that.” Sarah spoke again, taking a sip from her coffee and I raised both my eyebrows at her, confusion washing all over me.

“What’d you mean?”

“I mean; you go everywhere together, you are always talking and you give each other these love-struck looks which ‘friends’ don’t give each other normally.” She explained, adding air quotes to the word ‘friends’ to emphasize it. I was more than shocked by what she had said.