You & I || H.S.

Chapter 50

Harry’s P.O.V.

 

What even is life if it’s without the person you love?

What even is love if it doesn’t cause you a bit pain?

What even is pain if it doesn’t make you feel like you’re dying?

What even is the meaning of dying?

Dying could be phrased into many logical meanings, but in my state, it means living on Earth with a dead soul and a malfunctioning mind because there’s something important missing from your life, something so valuable that went to waste, something so beautiful, so amazing but so far away from you.

I stumbled my way to the couch in my drunken state then plopped myself over it, causing a loud thud to echo through the silent, dark house. I couldn’t organize my thoughts properly due to the amount of alcohol I had drunk in the local bar, and thus; I was hysterically laughing on everything and anything unfunny. I couldn’t even remember why I was here in Cheshire in the first place, which caused me to furrow my brows in confusion and stare at the ceiling of the dark living room I was currently in. 

Why was I here? Hmm, did I even call my boss, Dr. Frank, and tell him that I’d be in Cheshire? I don’t think so. Most importantly; why was I in Cheshire?

Then it suddenly hit me, making its way past all alcohol swirling in my mind for days now; I am here because I ran away, from Annabeth. The thought itself hit me like a truck, guilt and pain washed all over me and I was about to sober up. It wasn’t that I knew she didn’t love me truly, but it was that I left her crying that pained me most. I don’t know what happened to her, I don’t know how she’s coping with everything, but I do know that she won’t be handling it as well as she should be.

Her aunt told me that the sooner I left, the less pain she endures, but is it really true what she had said? Is Annabeth enduring less amount of pain right now? Is she enduring any pain at all?

I sat up straight on the couch and ran my fingers through my tangled hair, only to worsen it. Why did I leave? Why didn’t I believe Annabeth when she said that she loved me and ignored her aunt’s words? Why do I always cause myself a lot of pain because of doing what’s best for Annabeth, even if she doesn’t see it as the best?

Before I could ask myself any more haunting questions, the doorbell rang, causing me to snap my head towards its direction. I’ve told nobody but the lads about me staying here and they were with me all day yesterday and today morning before they left for London, and they’re absolutely not gonna show up today also; they have their lives, unlike me. Who is it, then?

Another ring. I sighed then stood up from my position, swaying left and right due to the lack of balance I had. I yet again stumbled my way over to the door I just came in from and opened it carelessly.

“Who’s i-” I stopped, not having the ability to speak any more syllable. I stared at her, standing in front of me, her hair flying everywhere and her lips and face so pale and thin I could see the veins popping through her skin.