I'm Not Okay. I'm Sorry.

let's sea whats going on in my head

I'll never understand how my mind works,

I swim in an ocean of thoughts.

Although lately, I've been drowning rather than swimming.

With each contemplation I am slowly sinking.

It's getting harder and harder to reach the surface,

I don't even know if I want to.

It was terrifying being where the waves crashed,

But then I was pulled out by the riptide,

And I've been stuck in this whirlpool of emotions.

I don't know how to handle myself--

My feet can't touch the bottom.

I can't swim back though,

The pressure is too much.

I'm terrified of all those who are waiting for me along the shore.

So I've been practicing holding my breath,

This way I can handle each time my thoughts pull me under.

Maybe I should stop trying to keep myself afloat.

Maybe I'm sinking for a reason,

Maybe I deserve to drown.